Plum Crazy

An Apology

A post on Sunday satirizing the Anne Nicole Smith paternity question is still in the RSSS feed, even though the post itself was taken down soon after it went up. Not wanting to draw attention to the post given how quickly it came down, I opted not to offer an apology, but since it's still out there, an apology is in order. The post mocks the issue of the abduction and rape of women. I did not see it that way when I wrote it, but Lesley pointed it out to me. She is correct. I take the issue of rape seriously and apologize for the insensitive nature of the post.

Frakked Up Priorities

I don't believe there are words that can express my deep dismay and disappointment in the American public to learn that there was public disorder, crime, and re-sale for obscene amounts of money when the PlayStation 3 went on sale today. When there are so many needs being unmet in so many places, including here at home, it says something profoundly sad about our society that people are willing to stand on line for days on end to buy a simple toy for their family, stand on line for days on end to re-sell it for $2500, pay $2500 a piece for a simple toy, push and shove and beat up people for a simple toy, and rob people who have been standing on line for days. Is there any wonder why people hate the U.S.? I feel slimy being an American right now, and I didn't stand on line and would never stand on line for a toy. My kids, when I have them, can live without it. When they ask why, I will tell them this story and tell them that a PlayStation 3 isn't important in the larger scheme of things.

No More Abe

I have decided to give up pennies where possible. No longer do I ask for pennies back as change. They are useless.

Bogus

I just filed what turns out to be a worthless complaint with the FCC regarding a solictation telephone call from the NYS Fraternal Order of Police. I have been a member of the Do Not Call list since day 1, but after reading the fine print today I learn that charitable organzations are excluded from the law. That's bogus. To me, do not call means no one should call, no matter who they are or what they represent. Period, paragraph.

They Must Have Really High Dentist Bills

Today's fact of the day: mosquitos have 47 teeth. In case you were wondering.

Over?

Regular readers know that I suffer from anxiety disorder and am a recovering agoraphobic. The underlying condition that causes my anxiety is obsessive compulsive disorder. I have worrisome thoughts that go around my head in circles and that create anxiety that a few months ago was debilitating.

When I was out with Jennifer on Saturday night, I decided to tell her. We have only been together a short time and I wasn't sure if I should tell her so soon. However, she values honesty above all else in a relationship and had been open enough to tell me that her brother is bipolar. She would have to know at some point about my illness, especially if we became intimate because of my medicine's potential side effects, and I felt Saturday was the right time when she started expressing anxiety about an upcoming cruise she's going on.

I took a deep breath and told her everything that happened from basically last October through April when I finally overcome the agoraphobia. At the time - and you know what's coming - it seemed to go well. She had a lot of questions, but she was understanding. We parted on a very good note.

Unfortunately, last night she called to end the brief relationship. She is looking to settle down and have children. Because her brother is bipolar and she suffers from anxiety of her own, she is concerned about what would happen if we were to have children together, that there is a risk of them inheriting a mental illness of some sort - be it my OCD, anxiety, or her brother's bipolar disorder. There was little I could say to change her mind, though I am not 100% sure if she was closing the door for good or needed time to think things through. I will try once more to persuade her to move forward, that there are risks inherent in any partnership and that OCD isn't a true mental illness but instead a condition that is mild in my case and manageable.

Regardless, I at first rued my decision to be honest with her, since we would still be together if I had kept my mouth shut. My shrink would say that I might have been subconsciously sabotaging the relationship, which might be true. In reality, though, it is better to know now rather than later, better to end things before we became too attached. I can only hope that the next person can handle the news better than Jennifer and my last girlfriend, that I can fully participate in the relationship despite my obsessive tendencies and anxieties.

Brain Dead

There I am in the dry cleaner dropping off some hangers while picking up a pair of pants. I reach into my pocket for my wallet and ticket. Not there. Forgot to bring it. Not a problem. They simply called up the ticket on the computer and found the pair of pants in a snap. Reach into my pocket for cash. Whoops! Didn't have my cash either. It's in my wallet, too. Now I really like a fool and think that I've got to the leave the pants there. But they're kind at the dry cleaner and agree to let me pay next time. So on my way out for my date with Jennifer today, I'll pop by with the cash.

Feels Like Rain

Sunday is softball day. Unfortunately, not today. It's going to be raining all day long.

Speaking of which, let's resuscitate Name That Tune. For installment number 15, name this:

Down here, the river meets the sea
and in the sticky heat I feel you
open up to me
Love comes out of nowhere, baby
like a hurricane

You know the rules - be subtle, leave a clue

Good Philosophy

My uncle e-mailed this to me yesterday. Words to live by.

FOR THE WIFE
WHO SAYS IT'S HOT DOGS TONIGHT,
BECAUSE SHE IS HOME WITH ME,
AND NOT OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

FOR THE HUSBAND
WHO IS ON THE SOFA
BEING A COUCH POTATO,
BECAUSE HE IS HOME WITH ME
AND NOT OUT AT THE BARS.

FOR THE TEENAGER
WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING DISHES
BECAUSE IT MEANS SHE IS AT HOME,
NOT ON THE STREETS.

FOR THE TAXES I PAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I AM EMPLOYED.

FOR THE MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE
BEEN SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS.

FOR THE CLOTHES THAT FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT.

FOR MY SHADOW THAT WATCHES ME WORK
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I AM OUT IN THE SUNSHINE

FOR A LAWN THAT NEEDS MOWING,
WINDOWS THAT NEED CLEANING,
AND GUTTERS THAT NEED FIXING
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE A HOME.

FOR ALL THE COMPLAINING
I HEAR ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT
BECAUSE IT MEANS
WE HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH..

FOR THE PARKING SPOT
I FIND AT THE FAR END OF THE PARKING LOT
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM CAPABLE OF WALKING
AND I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH TRANSPORTATION.

FOR MY HUGE HEATING BILL
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I AM WARM.

FOR THE LADY BEHIND ME IN CHURCH
WHO SINGS OFF KEY BECAUSE IT MEANS
I CAN HEAR.

FOR THE PILE OF LAUNDRY AND IRONING
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I HAVE CLOTHES TO WEAR.

FOR WEARINESS AND ACHING MUSCLES
AT THE END OF THE DAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN
CAPABLE OF WORKING HARD.

FOR THE ALARM THAT GOES OFF
IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM ALIVE.

AND FINALLY, FOR TOO MUCH E-MAIL
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE
FRIENDS WHO ARE THINKING OF ME.

I Hate Summer!

And it's still spring.

The Hiccups

Suck! Came down with a case that lasted about an hour tonight. Nothing worked - breathed into a paper bag, nothing; chowed down on peanut butter, same; swallowed three tablespoons of sugar, you got it; held my breath, nada; breathed into a paper bag, same scoop; breathed through my nose and exhaled through my mouth, utterly ineffective; pulled cold water from a bottle real fast, zip. Then in frustration, I grabbed another bottle full of water and drank it to the point where I could feel my breathing getting short. Five minutes later the hiccups were gone.

Major league flashback to New Year's Eve a couple of years back. A lousy New Year's Eve. The worst. I had a chest cold with a fever. I'm sleeping at home when I wake up with a coughing fit. Brings on the hiccups. Which. Did. Not. Go. Away. For. 13. Hours. Nope. Everytime I coughed they came back. Got no sleep, wound up in the ER, where they gave me a shot of Thorazine, which might I add is one kick-ass drug. I passed out as soon as I got home. Woke up. Hiccuped again. Finally globs of peanut butter did the trick.

Six Degrees of McDonald's

The power of the McDonald's side is strong. I was hanging in Bryant Park with a blind date this afternoon. We spot two people chowing down on McDonald's for lunch. On the spot, I decide that's what I'm having for dinner. Grab some Mickey D's on the subway ride home, hop back on the subway, and set the bags down. A boy greedily eyes the bags, turns to Dad, and queries, "Why don't have we McDonald's for dinner?" A power that cannot be resisted.

A Special Thanks

To all those who sacrificed their lives so that I can sit here in a comfortable apartment, blogging on a laptop, sipping Diet Sprite and eating Oreos. As mundane as all of that sounds, a lot of people in the world don't have even 1/10th of that, and I do appreciate that fact.

To Eat or Not to Eat

I bought a box of Life cereal from the corner grocer this evening. When I opened the box, which was sealed, the inside bag was open at the corners. Being paranoid, I took it back to the store. They were most obliging and actually decided to eat the cereal themselves rather than return it to the vendor. I ask you, would you have eaten from that box? And I really hope nothing happens to the woman. Forget about her, I'd be the prime suspect!

Go Ahead & Mock Me

Some laughed with me, others at me after I discovered that the complete power cord for my Dell laptop was in the box only after I dismantled the box to recycle it. I now lay out my latest exercise in absentmindedness.

I was heading into Manhattan via the Long Island Rail Road for a doctor's appointment this morning. Bear in mind that I work for the LIRR and ride for free. As long as I have the pass on me. Patting my pockets on the way to the station, I don't feel the pass, but since it's too late to turn around, I keep going, knowing that I can get a roundtrip ticket for a modest $6. I pay the roundtrip freight, and then what happens when I got to my doctor's office? I stick my hand inside my pants pocket for some reason and presto! find my pass. Whoops! Up to you whether to laugh with me or at me.

You Cannot Be Serious

Is it me or is Tony Blair having a serious Johhny Mac moment in this picture?

Click below and judge for yourself.

How to Get Off Jury Duty in One Easy Step

My sentiments about the Jennifer Wilbanks case remind me of how I got bounced as a prospective juror last year. We were brought in for the case of a woman charged with interfering with police officers during a drug arrest. Two thoughts went through my mind when the judge read the charges. The first was since when do they actually go to trial for such a small offense. The second, upon looking at the middle-age black woman before us, was that she looks like someone's kindly mother who under normal circumstances probably wouldn't hurt a fly. Yes, I realize that's judging a book by its cover and I could have been dead wrong. Still, I couldn't help but think that she was protecting someone close to her and really hadn't done anything that outlandish, otherwise, she would have been on trial for a more serious crime. Again, another leap on my part. But when it came time to answer the prosecutor's question if any of us would have a problem finding her guilty, I spoke up with the simple comment, "Based on the nature of the charges, I'm not sure it's worthwhile" or something to that effect. Just like that I was a goner. The woman, however, was certainly happy with me. She gave me a big nod in agreement. Wonder what ever happened and if the case was what I thought it to be. I will never know.

Dear Lottery Gods

Forget winning the lottery, though that would be quite nice, how about I get one number right every now and then? Thank you in advance for your cooperation.

Snail Mail Phishing?

I get a notice of a Class Action settlement in a lawsuit against American Express for charges made in foreign currencies. Fill out the accompanying form and get some type of refund. Catch is that the form asks for an account number. How do I know if this thing is legit as opposed to some scam to get my account information? For the few cents that my share of the settlement is likely to be, I will err on the safe side. Sad, though, isn't it that scams are so pervasive we don't know whom to trust anymore.

Aaah!

The Grammar Police are back. When last in action, they were pursuing people for failing to distinguish between who and whom.

Now they're on the Case of the Misplaced Modifier. Occurring when "single words, phrases, or clauses. . . do not point clearly to the word or words they modify," they are alarmingly frequent. That, by the way, was a properly placed modifier.

Today's culprit is the NY Post and its coverage of yesterday's Yankees game. Summing up seventh inning action, the Post (another properly placed modifier) writes:

Down a run, Baltimore manager Lee Mazzilli brought in lefty Steve Kline to face lefty Hideki Matsui. Matsui hit a high pop-up to left that probably should have been caught.

Yikes! That's wrong on two counts. When the Post writes "down by a run," it is referring to the Yankees, not the Orioles, which brings me to the second problem. It was the Orioles who (more grammar perfection on my part) were either up or down a run, not Lee Mazzilli.

As corrected, the sentence should read, "With the Yankees down a run, Baltimore Manager Lee Mazzilli. . . ."

Serving to protect the interest of grammarians everywhere, the Grammar Police shall remain ever vigilant for other abuses of the English language.

It's Whom For Pete's Sake

One of my biggest pet peeves is reading news stories that mistake who for whom. It just rankles me to no end to see professionals who should understand the basics of grammar make such a fundamental mistake.

To wit:

The Niners have extended invitations to the agents of Rodgers, Alex Smith, and Braylon Edwards to begin contract negotiations. Head coach Mike Nolan seems to be learning toward Rodgers, especially now that Smith failed to wow coaches at his most recent workout. However, it's always possible that notoriously cheap team owner John York will let his wallet determine who the team selects with the first overall pick.

Dear nitwits who wrote and edited the story:

It's "whom the team selects with the first overall pick." Who is used as the subject of a verb, as in who was the team's draft pick. Whom is used as an object, which it is in the above sentence.

Sincerely yours,

The Grammar Police

How Stupid Can You Get?

The story says it all.

Take A Memo

Memo to the motorist who would have just as soon run me over:

You are not "supposed to stop because [I] want to run". You are supposed to stop because you have a stop sign, and as a pedestrian, I, not you, have the right of way.

Memo to self:

In the future, try not argue to with SUVs. They're much bigger than you.

Please Arrest Me

Ok, I'm playing armchair shrink, but it sounds like this person wanted to be arrested. Otherwise, why would he have struck up a "dialogue" that lead to his eventual capture? Arrogance? Maybe, but even so, on some level, odds are he wanted to be caught. Well, regardless of the reason, if the cops have the right man, he will now pay for his crimes.

Boycotting Fed Ex

You may all recall my experience with Federal Express failing to deliver a package on time for a dental appointment.

Now it seems that I am not eligible for a refund because weather problems caused the delay. That would be ok, except that the package wasn't a few hours late, but instead was a day late, and Federal Express never advised anyone of the potential for a delay. Had they, I would have used a courier.

Hopefully, a letter to the president of the company will suffice, but in the meantime, I will ask my credit card company to reverse the charge. Also, the trust that Federal Express had built up over the years has been exhausted. Unless the matter is resolved to my satisfaction, I will not use the company again.

Phil It Up

Yes, it's Groundhog Day again. I am going to make a prediction. Phil will see his shadow. Yes, six more weeks of winter. I know, with the cold weather we've been experiencing the last couple of weeks (although today is going to be pretty warm, it's quite late for the annual mid-winter thaw), it's a daring prediction.

UPDATE: My daring prediction has come true.

Lessons from Mom

After my dentist's appointment this week, my Mom's first cousin helped to take me home. (I was put under because of the anxiety I was feeling.) As I was buttoning up my coat and getting ready to put on my hat and gloves, she noticed that I routinely stuff my gloves into my hat. "Your Mother taught you well" or something to that effect was her comment. I never gave it much thought, but she's right. It's one of those habits that become so ingrained that you don't remember where you first picked it up. Indeed, it was from Mom, one of her many valuable lessons.

With Apologies to Peter King

Here are three things I think I think. (King is Sports Illustrated's lead football reporter. He thinks he thinks five things.)

1. Even though I never supported the decision to go into Iraq and question whether the current situation is better than when Hussein was in power, I genuinely hope that this weekend’s elections are the first step towards a stable, safe, and free Iraq.

2. In hindsight, if I were to pick anyone to beat Roger Federer, it would be Marat Safin, arguably the second most talented player on the men’s tour. But it blows that Andy Roddick lost in the semis.

3. Time to bone up on the social security debate. I don’t have a position at this point, not being fully versed in what’s proposed, but it would be helpful to know how I might be affected. Though I will note that I’m not especially enamored of the idea of controlling my social security investment. That’s what my 401k is for, unless, of course, I’m able to equal or beat the market, as I’ve done in my 401k.

The Warmest Sweater

I am about to head out into the frozen tundra of New York. But I will have my Icelandic sweater to keep me warm. Sure, it set me back about $200, but it's worth every penny.

Mr. Clean To The Rescue

"On another note, does anyone make some kind of telescoping scrub brush for bath tubs? Tired of getting down on my hands and knees to clean the tub."

They do. Hooray for Mr. Clean. I am getting one of these.

It Dusts, It Pets Cats

The handy dandy Swifter Swiffer Duster is good for a multitude of uses. Before trying it out for dusting, I thought Scooter, who loves to be brushed, would get a kick of it. He did.

Overall, convenience thy name is Swifter Swiffer. I added to my Swifter Swiffer collection today by finally picking up the WetJet and the duster. (I already owned the dry sweeper.) I see myself mopping more often now. Wait, on second thought, maybe CVS will take it back. On another note, does anyone make some kind of telescoping scrub brush for bath tubs? Tired of getting down on my hands and knees to clean the tub.

Neither Rain Nor Sleet Nor. . .

How about a blizzard? Curious to see whether our mail carrier delivers the mail today. Then we'll know how true that adage about the post office really is.

Sis, Where's Your Car?

I live in New York City and work at the Long Island Rail Road because I don't believe in cars. That's right, like Peter Pan and fairy dust, they don't really exist. (Although from a philosophical standpoint, Peter Pan and fairy dust really do exist, but that's a topic for another time.) Ok, it's not that I don't realize that there are cars, but more feel that society has become too auto dependent, and I try to live my life in an auto-free way.

Today, however, I admit it would have been good to have a car. My weekly shopping included many bulky and heavy items, thus in turn requiring a handful of trips to the stores. The stores are all within easy walking distance, but a car would have reduced the trips to, let's see now, one! Oh, Lesley, where are you when you and your car are needed?

Time to Go Food Shopping

Sooner rather than later, I'd say.

My Resolutions

Seems like I am in a verbose mood this morning, as this is entry number five, but just moments ago, I pondered poetic about the top New Year's resolutions.

Along those lines - the resolutions part, not the verbose part - I figured people might be interested in my resolutions. Then again, they might not be, but tough luck, as my top ones are right below the fold.

1. To continue to be better in all things that I do - includes keeping up with and advancing my exercise programs, striving to keep my chin up even more, and giving more of myself to people
2. Getting in a relationship for keeps
3. Leaving the Long Island Rail Road for greener pastures
4. Advancing my nascent screenwriting career, which right now consists of having written one script and having a bunch more in the pipeline

(All of which means I will now stop pestering everyone with Blog entries and get to work.)

Top Two Resolutions?

Without doing any earth-shattering or Google-searching research, I will venture a guess that the top two new year's resolutions just might be to get our bodies and finances in shape.

This conclusion is supported by some rather unscientific research. An e-mail from Handmark, which makes software for PDAs, with a subject line of "Keep Your Resolutions with these Great Titles". "Hmm", I thought to myself, "let me hazard that some workout tracking software will be on the list." It was, at the top, followed by one to track finances. Thus, clearly my theory is correct.

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road

At last an answer to this conundrum that has puzzled people for ages. To get arrested! At least in Quitman, Georgia, where it is illegal for a chicken to cross the road.

In the meantime, in Columbus you must be nice to chickens on Sundays. You cannot cut off a chicken's head on Sundays or carry a chicken down Broadway by its feet. Thus, if you are a chicken, steer clear of Columbus unless it's Sunday.

Stupid laws courtesy of Dumb Georgia Laws.

My Cynical Thought of the Morning

The tag line on the banner add for the New York State Lottery is "Educating Leaders of Tomorrow." While it is true that lottery proceeds help to fund the state's public schools, that's not why I play the lottery. I play in the vague hope that I might win the big payoff. That education benefits is a happy benefit. Maybe there are others out there who think less cynically about it than I do. Or maybe not.

Less Filling

May You Always

During his tenure at WMCA, New York radio legend Harry Harrison recorded a holiday poem full of warm wishes for the season. The poem, "May You Always", is beautiful in its sentiments and has become a beloved tradition. It is now played on WCBS FM, which Harrison returned to earlier this fall after retiring from his morning radio show in 2003.

If you've never heard it before, you can find both the words and the audio file on WCBS's web site. Take a moment not just to read it, but to listen to it as well. You will be rewarded as I always am when WCBS plays it - as much for the thoughts as for Harrison's warmth.

The Important Winners!

Okay, enough with the Presidential elections. Now let's talk about something really important - Regular reader Justin's son being on the championship football team of the Clearwater League 3rd/4th graders! Sure, you'll see lots of pictures of Bush celebrating his victory around the Internet today. But where else can you get pictures of Sam (#4) and his best friend (at least one of the thousands of Sam's best friends) celebrating their victory?

Killjoys

Haven't these people ever heard the saying, "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy." Let the kids have their fun for crying out loud. Rest and relaxation - the occasional fun break - are as important to learning and work as learning and work are.

Senseless

Does Dave Roberts try to steal second base? Does Bill Mueller look to drive Roberts home to score the tying run against the Yankees? Do they seek to extend game four if they knew that it would start a ball rolling that would lead not only to the Red Sox coming back to the win the series but also to a celebration outside Fenway Park that leads to the tragic death of Victoria Snelgrove? I know that you can't blame what happened on the field for her death. You can blame the fans that got out of control and maybe the police for using too much force.

Maybe I should stop thinking about this, but it's hard not to think about it. It's heartbreaking. Let's hope that fans around the world take this lesson to heart and learn to control themselves.

The Jon Crystal Ball

Just dead wrong. My prediction on Google has turned out to be laughably off base. My prediction on the two teams in the World Series? Close but wrong, too.

Thus, here are my new predictions. The price of Google will a) continue to rise, b) slip, or c) do nothing. A team with red in its uniform will win the 2004 World Series.

Two Things I Wish Were Over

The presidential election.

The Yankees run through hopefully another championship post-season.

The rhetoric and suspense are killing me. Ok, maybe not killing me, but a definite paper cut here and there.

On a more somber note, my condolences to Mariano Rivera and his family on a terrible loss.

Well, It's Like This

No one in sports ever has the flu. They have flu-like symtpoms. Now, Brett Favre, knocked silly in Sunday's loss to the Giants, doesn't have a concussion but concussion-like symtpoms. Is there a difference? Maybe Favre thought the doctor was holding up 17 fingers when he would have said 170 if he had a concussion.

Leaves me wondering what's next. My pet hamster isn't dead. Sure, he's not breathing and is motionless, but those are merely death-like symptoms.

Will People Never Learn?

With all the stories in the news about car jackings and abductions, how could someone be negligent enough to leave a baby alone in a running car? Thankfully, the culprit was caught quickly and the child is fine. The mother has probably learned her lesson, but I wouldn't mind if she were charged with a low-level crime and fined as an example.

Everyone But Reporters Can Leave

Pity the poor television reporter who always seems to be smack in the middle of a hurricane or other major storm. I can understand why it’s important to have a reporter on scene in, say, a war zone, where you want contemporary news and the only way to gather it is live. But why expose a reporter to extreme weather conditions when everyone else is told to get out of dodge?

I personally don’t gain anything by seeing a reporter blown about by the wind and dumped on by the rain simply to report, “Well, Jack, as you can tell it’s really windy out here and there’s a lot of rain.” What I care about is what the storm is likely to do over the next day or so, which gives me and others a chance to prepare, and not what it’s doing at that moment. Not to mention someone in a studio can tell me what it’s doing as well as someone on scene. For crying out loud, Mr. and Ms. news producer, let them in out of the rain and snow!

Be Careful What You Wish For

The relentless spate of hurricanes hitting Florida reminds me of how when I was kid living in Boca Raton I wanted to experience a hurricane. Thankfully my wish was never fulfilled, but ah, the foolishness of youth.

How Do I Go? Use Vindigo

Last night, I found a unique use for Vindigo that the company probably never even envisioned. I was at a transportation hub serving two west side subway lines when a woman from overseas, laden with a backpack and another large bag, approached me. She was totally lost, having been in the country for only two days, and looking how to get to 891 Amsterdam Avenue. That's all she knew. She didn't have a cross street. I couldn't really help her and sent her over to a token booth clerk with regrets.

I stood there for a moment pondering how I could help. Finally, it dawned on me. I was carrying my Palm Pilot, and with it, Vindigo. After some trial and error, I found the address for a restaurant, complete with cross streets, near her destination. Thus armed, I tracked her down, showed her the address along with a digital map and then directed her to the 103 Street station along the 1/9 line using my handy-dandy pocket subway map. Do I see a new marketing slogan: “Vindigo, showing you the way to go”?

Inspirational

All the time you hear about people who cycle or run several thousand miles. There's a group that is cycling across the US (from Seattle to Kennedy Space Center) right now.

Today I learned of an even more inspirational story. A man who rode 3,000 miles from Moscow to Spain in a wheel chair. He is 65 years old and was riding to discourage young people from doing drugs.

I cannot think of words adequate enough to profess my admiration for him. Except maybe to say that he's truly amazing.

More Strange News

Gives new meaning to the term high chair.

Not Your Average Bear

Or beer, for that matter.

It used to be, "Hey Boo Boo, let's steal a pic-a-nic basket." Times have changed. Apparently, it's now, "Hey Boo Boo, let's steal a six pack."

Dang

About a year ago I bought a fitness watch that has various add-on accessories that you can buy. Instead of buying the heart monitor right away - I figure I have a finger, a wrist I can apply it to, and can count for 10 seconds without losing track - I opted for a foot pod that communicates with the watch and tracks mileage.

The catch? You have to calibrate it, and the only high school track nearby was to my chagrin closed to the public about the same time I got the watch. I do have another track I can avail myself of, but living in NYC without a car, that would be a far run or would require public transportation. I never made the effort, until today, and wouldn't you know, I didn't even think about the foot pod until I got there. Now, I did have the foot pod with me, as it attaches to my sneaker, but I didn't know how to use it! Next time I either read the instructions before making this trip or bring with them me.

Not that it was a total loss. Running along the track, and through the park that brings me there, enabled me to keep track of my distance and time. Confirming that I’m still running the same pace as always. So I can continue to time my runs with confidence.

That Demon Liquid

Okay, that's it. I'm swearing off drinking for a long time. Over the last month, I have had more to drink than I have had in the last year. That would be 8 glasses of wine. 3 glasses one night, 3 glasses another night, and 2 glasses tonight. In fact, that might be more than I've had to drink in the last 2 years. Yes, it's true. I am the world's cheapest date.

Nonetheless, after tonight's 2 glasses of wine, I nearly got sick (fortunately a Gelusil tablet and some fresh air helped it pass). By the end of the evening (it may be late afternoon for most of my readers, but it's after 10 pm here in London), I was feeling nauseated. This may have been connected to the fact that all I had to eat while imbibing was some hors d'oeuvres, but still. No more drinks for me until at least the holiday party, and maybe not even then.

Yes, I Have Landed...In Bed

The flight was uneventful. Best kind of flight. I arrived at the hotel around 11:30 am local time. Thought I'd gotten my second wind during the car ride from Heathrow to the hotel during a great conversation with the driver. My plan was to stay awake for the day and go to sleep around 10 pm.

I checked into the room, feeling all energetic and everything. Made a couple of phone calls and then headed out to get some British-style cash at the ATM around the corner. Went to eat lunch. Started walking around after lunch intent on finding two things: a Starbucks for really strong coffee (I theorized that London is much like any other major city - walk far enough and you'll find a Starbucks) and a place to buy a prepaid SIM card for the GSM mobile phone my friend lent me. I did find a Starbucks, thus proving my theory. However, for the first time in my life, I've seen a Starbucks that is closed during broad daylight. Yeah, I know it's Sunday, but I've never come across a Starbucks that is closed on Sunday. So much for the strong coffee. Couldn't find a Vodafone or some such to purchase the SIM card, so I figure I'll get that tomorrow.

After walking around for about an hour, I hit the wall. I was exhausted. I felt like I was literally going to fall asleep whilst walking. So I headed back to the hotel and changed my plan - I slept for about three hours. Ah well. I'll get some dinner now and still try to go to sleep around 10 pm local time. The way I feel right now, I won't have any problem falling asleep in 2 1/2 hours.

Meetinged Out

I'm meetinged out. Too bad for me, as I have another full day of meetings on Thursday.

In other work-related news, sometimes being in finance sucks. I get to enforce the corporate policies, but guess who gets the blame for being mean? Me. "Lesley won't let us have a party to celebrate the deployment of an application." Yeah, sure, the T&E policy specifically says "no entertaining other employees", but I'm the one who won't let them have a party. Whatever.

Memorial Day

Today is Memorial Day. There won't be any other blogging beside this post. Today is a day for us to reflect on the men and women who sacrificed defending this country, whether they sacrificed their lives, their limbs, whatever they may have sacrificed. To all of these men and women - Thank you.

Space

I finally finished unpacking my boxes. Sure, you say, I've lived here nearly a year. Your point? So I now have all this additional space in the living room. It's fabby! I love it. I can even see the fireplace now.

Next up - it's time to paint.

Financese?

I'm starting to think that I communicate in some odd dialect of English that people who work in technology don't understand. For example, when I ask that they send me forecasts of big ticket items they will be purchasing over the remainder of the year and specify that I need to know (1) what they will be buying, (2) how much it will cost, and (3) when they expect to buy it, I'm lucky if they give me two of those three pieces of information.

Aaarrrggghhh!

Ask A Question for Charity

Today and today only, Michele is running a great deal - Ask her a question, and she'll donate a dollar to the Spirit of America. Her offer is also being matched by several people, including yours truly.

As most of you who read this site regularly know, I was not in favor of the war in Iraq. But that has nothing to do with this. I think that this is a good cause. The Spirit of America has, to date, provided school supplies, medical supplies, dental kits, musical instruments, and toys to the Iraqis. So go ask Michele a question. It won't cost you anything except the time to type it.

But if you want to donate directly as well, please do so.

So Here We Are

Another year has past and a new one started. I'm not a big New Years' person. I don't see the point in staying up to watch the ball drop. The start of the new year is purely arbitrary anyway. Once upon a time, as the names of our last four months indicate, the start of the new year was in March. This makes more sense to me. March is the month when winter turns to spring, at least in the northern hemisphere, and spring is the season of renewal. That ties into actual human experience. But what is January 1st? A day, like any other.

I don't make New Years' resolutions. If there's something about my life I want to change badly enough, I don't wait until a special, "magical" day to start to change it. No one really does. I think that New Years serves a purpose for many people, in that it gives them pause to stop and reflect on their lives; perhaps that is why resolutions are most popular on New Years.

Do I expect that 2004 will be a better year than 2003? No, but neither do I expect that it will be a worse year. Dickens sums it up best:

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way--in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.

Or perhaps T.S. Eliot:

For I have known them already, known them all-
Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons

Well, perhaps I'm a wee bit melancholy.

In Flanders Field

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the dead. Short days ago
We lived, saw dawn, felt sunset glow,
Loved, and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up your quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

by John McCrae

To all the veterans who fought to preserve our freedoms - Thank you.

Eating/Team-Building

Way back, at the end of August, a colleague and I came up with a little idea for how to have some fun at work - Start a Taste-Off. A taste-off is our name for a taste-test. Since I've heard multiple reports of participants sharing this with family, friends, and acquaintances who wish to mimic it, I figured I'd tell you all about it too.

We started off with the idea that we'd stack up Dunkin Donuts against Krispy Kreme across several varieties. Week 1, we did a Boston Kreme taste-off (Dunkin Donuts wiped the floor with the poor Krispy Kreme showing), moving on to Chocolate Glazed, Jelly, Glazed, and Iced. At the end, the winners of each category competed against each other for a Donut Best in Show. The Dunkin Donuts Boston Kreme emerged victorious.

Although initially we had then planned on doing muffins, bagels, etc., we revisited our plans at the end of the Donut segment and decided to move on to packaged goods instead. You know, all those gooey Hostess and Drakes Cakes goodies we all grew up with. This time we changed our methodology. We're doing an elimination taste-off, starting with quarter-finals and ending with a winner-take-all championship round. We seeded the 12 contestants and had our first quarter-final match today. There was an upset, with Gonzaga Ho-Hos beating Arizona Twinkies. 12th-seeded Sno-Balls did better than you might think, but still finished last. Yeah, the quarter-finals are 3-way competitions. It was just easier.

It's been tons of fun. Lots of merriment and camaraderie.

BTW, we don't eat entire servings of anything. We generally cut things into halves or quarters so as to not completely blimp out. In fact, I just started Weight Watchers (I want to go back down from a size 10 to a size 6, my size prior to 9/11), and managed to stay within my daily points total even eating 3 meals and participating in the taste-off. Sticking to quarters of each treat brought me in at 2.5 points for the entire exercise out of a daily allotment of 22. So I skipped my afternoon tea with half and half. Tell me you wouldn't rather have a quarter of a Ho-Ho than a cuppa.

Operation Give

You may already know that Chief Wiggles started a project to send toys to Iraqi children. However, the project has expanded over the last week to become Operation Give. Many major corporations are looking to become involved, and there are links set up to stores that allow you to send not just toys but clothes, school supplies, and a host of other items.

Whatever you think of the war, you can't possibly think there is anything wrong with giving toys, clothes, and school supplies to needy Iraqi children. So head on over to Operation Give and do as the name asks.

Via Michele

People I'd Like to Bitchslap

Urban planners who put in brick sidewalks. They must be men. Sure, they look lovely, but they are killer on heels. Every urban planner who allows a brick sidewalk should be forced to walk across one in 3" heels every day for the rest of their lives.

People who use corporate jargon terms like "business partner." Can't we just call it "doing your job?"

Mike Bloomberg. Just on principle.

Idiots who Google search terms like "why have the jews gone crazy?" But what do I know? Evidently I've gone crazy.

The entire Boston Red Sox team. The Atlanta Braves too (tomahawk-chopping bastards), but if I had to make a choice, I'd go with the Red Sox first.

Steve Ballmer. Face it, Steve, Windows and Outlook are just lousily written programs. It's not just that there are more Windows machines than any other OS. It's that Windows is easier to write viruses for.

Ying-yangs who call hazing rituals where teenage boys have brooms shoved up their nether regions "kids getting carried away." I'm pretty sure that when most kids "get carried away," they do things like drink, smoke, have consensual sex with their partners, and borrow the car without permission. Shoving broomsticks in other people's bodily cavities was the kind of thing the Boston Strangler did or the sort of incident which landed NYC cops in jail. Kind of outside the scope of "getting carried away."

But not Trish Wilson, who has a new home and has posted incredibly cute kitten pictures.

New Blogs

Three people I've met while wandering the wide wonderful world of the web (I love onomatopoeia alliteration , even if I do have to look it up to make sure I'm spelling it right*) have started their own blogs.

First the incomparable MissusDe will be California Dreaming. Trish has a knack for finding some of the oddest collection of stories and links on the web, so I definitely encourage you to read her frequently. Plus she has an interesting take on things.

Next we have Der Spiel (why yes, it is a take on the famous German magazine). Jim has a political point of view that is sure to get nearly everybody's blood boiling, regardless of which side of the fence they are on. And, not to toot my own horn (at least not terribly loudly), but I did his website design.

Last is Elevator Cabeza. It's really hard to describe Bryan/Brassmask. He is extremely left-wing. He loves Howard Dean. He wants to be a filmmaker and actually has his own little independent production company in Memphis. Outside of those three rather obvious statements, I wouldn't dare to describe him further. You'll have to (try to) figure him out for yourselves.

Good luck to all of them.

*I have a mental block. Of course, I meant alliteration, not onomotopoiea, which is a word that sounds like what it means.

Life, the Internet, and Everything

It's a funny old thing, I've discovered, but there's an inverse relationship between feeling calm and desiring to participate in the wide world of the web. At least for me, there seems to be a correlation between being pissed off at things, anything, and wanting to write.

Manhattan is a conducive environment to pissed offness. You don't realize until you're not there just how conducive it really is. I'm sure not all people react that way. Some undoubtedly miss the excitement, the fast pace of life in the big, glittering city. It just turns out that I'm not one of them. Who knew? Certainly not me.

I come home at night and think about blogging, but then I realize that I don't feel like becoming pissed off. I have to figure out a way to blog about things that don't piss me off as well as about those that do. I just fear that those things that don't won't be nearly as interesting. Maybe it's just me, but villains in the movies and in books (not in real life) seem to be more interesting than heroes (let's face it, Skeletor had it all over He-Man), and things that piss me off seem to be more interesting than things that don't. I suppose that's why the Chinese curse goes "May you live in interesting times", not "May times be mundane and dull".

Hopefully I'll work it all out.

Soon.

Observations About Moving

I have too many books.

I have no idea why they call them book boxes. Books don't really fit well in them no matter what the size.

It feels like an ending, but not a corresponding beginning. I guess the beginning comes when you start unpacking.

Cats are of no use whatsoever in moving, unless you consider sleeping on top of packed boxes useful.

My back hurts.

Near Boycott

I was getting all ready to write a blistering diatribe of why I was going to link and then delink dustbury.com (pretty much because C.G. has been trying for ages to get someone to boycott him, and I aim to please), until I saw this entry on his blog: Buck Floomberg. Well, given my not-so-subtle feelings about the erstwhile Mayor of my city, how can I possibly boycott someone with such fine taste in disliking politicians? Sorry, C.G., your quest remains unfulfilled. In fact, I shall now have to simply link you.

World Wide Addition

The World Wide Runt has made her debut, and is already talking about taking over the planet. Go wish Andy the best on the birth of his daughter, Fiona.

Been Taking a Break

Just been taking a little break lately, hoping to have a little more balance between life and the Internet.

Happy Easter

To those who celebrate it.

To the rest of us, Happy Liberation from Annoying, Singing Bunnies Day.

Web Searches by Country

I've been getting a few more hits from international search engines lately, so I thought I'd take a look at what people from different countries are trying to find.

Italy wants to find out if Bush is crazy.

Canada is trying to find out the same thing and about yellow stars of David. They're also trying to find a nickname for Mike. Here's a clue - Mike is a nickname for Michael. What, you want a nickname for a nickname?

The Brits, on the other hand, want to know about crazy Saddam. Sounds far more reasonable to me.

Belgium is looking for Camilla Parker Bowles. I'm sorry, but I don't think Charles is parting with her. Apparently, though, the Belgians want to negotiate with him, since they are also looking for "prince vibrator vanity listen". I appreciate their creative thinking, although I think they're bound for failure.

Germany is searching for Lesley (I'm a little concerned about that... What do they want with me? I didn't do it, I swear!)

Well, now that the Germans have piqued my paranoia, I think I'm going to go hide for a bit.

Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego

At last, something for a geographically impaired challenged (must be politically correct) adult like me!

Everything Including the Kitchen Sink

Oh.My.G_d. To think, I was wondering if I ought to spend another $30,000 next year to renovate the kitchen in the apartment I'm buying.

Via The Daily Rant

Apartment Fatigue

However, all this apartment hunting has exhausted me! I lost count of how many apartments I looked at over the last week. Over 20, I think. And the real estate agent, who is a great guy, said the most real-estate-agenty thing possible to me when I dropped off the check for the binder - "You're buying a lifestyle." As I groaned internally, I had to confess that in some ways he was right. The apartment was about $30K more than I wanted to spend. As I was trying to decide whether or not to go ahead with it last night, having seen another apartment I liked as well that I almost certainly could have gotten for a little less than I wanted to spend, I thought about how beautiful and upscale the building was. The cheaper unit was above a Thai restaurant. Ultimately I opted for the more expensive one because something about the building and the space just said "You've made it, kid!" I guess I really am buying a lifestyle. How frightening.

Apartment Found

Okay, I found the apartment I want, made an offer on it, and reached a deal with the buyers! It's fabby! 775 s.f., 11 foot ceilings, marble bath (ignore the hideous black wallpaper with blue flowers and hideous powder blue fixtures; they will be dealt with), working fireplace, nice-sized living room with dining alcove, nice-sized bedroom, and decent-sized kitchen (formica cabinets with faux formica wood grain cabinets will also be dealt with at later date). The building has a pool in the courtyard and guaranteed parking 1.5 blocks away for another $150/month. Yippee!! Take a look and see what you think.

Apartment Hunting Update

Sigh. Well, I went to measure the rooms yesterday, and they were smaller than I thought. The bedroom is about 12'10" x 12'6". The dining room is about 9' x 9'. The living room is 12'0" x 12'6" (smaller than the one I have in my 525 sf apartment, dammit!), and the 2nd bedroom/study is 12'6" x 8'6". Given the way it's laid out, I don't see how I can actually fit my furniture. Ah well. The hunt continues. Those details were damn nice, though. I'm also still trying to figure out where they came up with 950 sf for the place, though. The bathroom was pretty