Plum Crazy

I Suck

After a bout of bad behavior*, I'm grounding myself from the Internets for bit.

Don't let it all go to hell without me!

*Start at that comment and scroll up to the two prior.

Learning German the Natural Berlitz Way

Today, while finishing up Lesson 2 (Übung Nr. 2), I learned a very important fact.

Das ist weder der Hut noch der Mantel. Das ist die Hose.
That is neither the hat nor the overcoat. That is the trousers.

Whew! I'd been confused on that point for a while. I was wondering why everyone was looking at me funny for my choice of headgear.

Quote of the Undetermined Time Period

Good name in man and woman, dear my lord,
Is the immediate jewel of their souls:
Who steals my purse steals trash; 'tis something, nothing;
'Twas mine, 'tis his, and has been slave to thousands;
But he that filches from me my good name
Robs me of that which not enriches him
And makes me poor indeed.

William Shakespeare, "Othello", Act 3 scene 3

You Say It's Your Birthday

Why, yes. Yes, I do. Despite my advancing age, I still love birthdays. People give you things. For free. What's not to love?

I kicked it off last night by attending Tartfest, a dinner with other NYC area bloggers and Shakes Sis' commenters. Much fun was had by all. This, of course, means my blogroll has expanded once again. I have one absolute rule about my blogroll - If I've met someone, they get added to the blogroll. I picked this up from Elayne, because I thought it was a great idea. So new to the blogroll are:

Some Watery Tart from Tart Juice aka our fine organizer
Jon the Space Cowboy from Pure and Easy
Toast from Two Glasses
Steve the Disgruntled Chemist

Also at the dinner last night were regular Shakers Maurinsky and Angelos, as well as Lisa, Erica, Tracy, Amy, and Sean. We went to a crowded Greek restaurant, but the food was good. Taramosolata, a taste treat to which A introduced me.

That rumor you may have heard about me being a total lightweight when it comes to alcohol? True. I almost never drink, so two drinks, and I'm a wee bit hungover. But A is taking me out for brunch and dinner. Whee! Fortunately I'm not that hungover.

Later!

Question for the Audience

Lesley - Left fringe: Yes or no. Discuss.

Some things to keep in mind. My social politics are fairly well discussed on this blog. My fiscal politics? Less so. Things to remember that may give you some clues on the less-discussed issues. I have an MBA in Finance from NYU. I work as a business unit CFO.

Go!

I Am Spartacus

In solidarity with Shakespeare's Sister, who resigned yesterday from her position with the Edwards' campaign. I am Spartacus!

Via drifty. If you have a blog, join in!

I Am So Over Myself Right Now*

I spent a large part of the day dealing with some racist crap in a comments thread on Feministe. Which just totally made me cranky. And I'm lucky, because racist shit like that only makes me cranky, but has no significant direct negative impact on my life.

So why do I bring that up? Because then I got all weird about a comment I left over at Ilyka's. No, you can't read the original, because I deleted it. I thought the first paragraph was too snarky. Really, it probably wasn't, but my perspective isn't on tonight. But not before someone responded to it, and then Ilyka said she liked it, and then I wound up posting like three comments in a row, so now I feel totally dorky.

So I'm totally over myself right now. I think I'm leaving the intertubes for the night (I know, I say that now...). I TiVoed "Heroes" earlier anyway. Mmm, Mohinder.

Wee, Sleekit, Cow'rin, Tim'rous Beasties

Two animal-related quizzes via Shakespeare's Sister.

Which famous feline are you?

You're Hobbes. First of all, the makers of this quiz would like to congratulate you. You have our seal of approval. You are kind, intelligent, loving, and good-humoredly practical. You're proud of who you are. At the same time, you're tolerant of those who lack your clearsightedness. You're always playful, but never annoying. For these traits, you are well-loved, and with good cause.
Take this quiz!

Quizilla |
Join

| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

What mythical beast are you?

You're a pegasus. You're very calm and loving. Something about you makes others want to get close to you, whether or not you feel the same way about them. You don't bond to others easily, but when you do it's long-lasting. Your alignment is good, but not so much that you can't have fun.
Take this quiz!

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Join

| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

I Am Cranky!

I've spent the day alternately decluttering the apartment and dealing with deliberately obtuse commenters in the comments section to this post at Feministe. While decluttering is good in the long-run (or even tomorrow), my back hurts now!

As for the commenters -- Aargh! We were discussing rape laws which state that an intoxicated person is unable to consent to sex. Now, please note that these laws only apply when a person presses charges. Not under any other circumstances. Needless to say, some commenters (I believe all of them are men, although I'm unsure about one of them) started stringing together fake scenarios. "OMG, you're saying that all sex while drunk is rape!" "How can you be comfortable passing a law that makes it illegal for you to have sex while drunk!" "The cops will start rounding up anyone whose had sex while drunk!" Dealing with that kind of idiocy makes me cranky, dammit! Sure, these kinds of laws already exist. Sure, no state has started rounding up people who had sex while drunk. Sure, none of them state that it's illegal to have sex while drunk. Sure, no one ever said that all drunken sex was rape. Sadly, none of that impinges on the consciousness of those raising these fake scenarios.

I'm cranky, I tell you!

This Might Explain My Fascination with Darth Vader

Your Birthdate: February 25

You excel at anything difficult or high tech. In other words, you're a total (brilliant) geek. It's difficult for you to find people worth spending time with. Which is probably why you'll take over the world with your evil robots! Your strength: Your unfailing logic Your weakness: Loving machines more than people Your power color: Tan Your power symbol: Pi Your power month: July

Via Feministe

An Open Letter to my Family and Friends

If you're not a member of my family or one of my friends, feel free not to go below the jump.

I love you all dearly, but there is one thing you must stop. Now. I regret ever mentioning to you that A and I are going to Paris next week. There are things that people do in Paris other than elope or get engaged.

I was very excited about going to Paris with him, but you are all doing your unintentional level best to ruin it for me. Because when I discuss it with you, and the "elopement" or "engagement" question gets, inevitably, raised, I feel like I'm disappointing you when I tell you that we are not eloping, nor will we getting engaged. I feel like somehow I'm failing at what I am constantly reminded must be my central mission in life as a woman - to get married.

I have accomplished quite a bit in my life. I have a bachelor's degree and an MBA. Both with distinction. I spent a month in France in high school, and a trimester at Cambridge in college. I have a very successful career. I'm always there for all of you when you really need me.

I do have a wonderful boyfriend, whom I love very much and who loves me. Maybe we will get married some day. Maybe we won't. I don't know. I hope we will, but I don't know. But if we do, I will be doing it for me. So leave us to work it out on our schedule. If it becomes a problem for me, I will let you know. It is not a problem for me right now. So stop making it one.

Lesley

Blogger Barbecue

I went to the blogger barbecue held in honor of Roxanne of Rox Populi. It was great to meet Roxanne, who is one of my regular blog visits. She attended with her husband, Earl, and her friend, Jean Denis.

The barbecue was held at the home of our very gracious hostess, Julia of Sisyphus Shrugged. Much fun was had by all. And by all, I mean a lot of bloggers! I got to meet a lot of other people I read regularly.

First, I have met Julia and Elayne of Pen-Elayne once before, but it was great to see them again.

I also got to meet zuzu of Feministe, who is one of my favorite bloggers. I am really looking forward to her eventual return to blogging.

Scott Lemieux of Lawyers Guns and Money and now TAPPED too. It was great meeting him, as I've long been a fan of his posts on feminism, as well as other topics. But his posts on reproductive rights are, for me, especially great.

Lindsey Beyerstein of Majikthise was there. I didn't really get a chance to talk to her, which is largely a function of my massive introversion. She is a daily read of someone special to me, so hopefully I'll get more of a chance to do so at a future blogger thing. At any rate, Lindsey will be added to my list of regular reads too.

Mad Kane was there, which was a great treat. She's one of the first bloggers I ever came across, and one of the first to link me. She's funny in person as well as in blog. I spent a good deal of time talking with her husband too, as we are in similar fields.

Alon Levy. I recognized his name from his regular comments on Trish Wilson's blog. So it turns out Alon has his own blog, Abstract Nonsense.

Seth the talking dog was there. I have read his blog previously, so it was fun to put a face to the blog.

A non-blogger whom I especially enjoyed meeting was Julia's friend Carla. I hope I get to meet her again, as I had a really great conversation with her.

Julia's brother, pka Uncle Procrustes, was there. I met him once before at the NTodd thing. He's always a good person to have a discussion with, even if I didn't know he was a blogger.

Lastly, there were a few other people who may or may not be bloggers. One couple was named Steve and Lydia. I'm not sure if they're bloggers or not. There was also Barbara and her family. Not sure if Barbara is a blogger either. I didn't get a chance to really talk to any of them, but they all seemed like quite nice people.

I didn't break out the camera to take any pictures, but Elayne did. Hopefully she'll post some of them soon, and I'll throw up a link to them. She may or may not have taken a picture of me eating cheese and crackers, but I guess I'll find out soon enough!

UPDATE: Elayne did post the photos, and yes there is one of me eating cheese and crackers. With my eyes closed. Fortunately Elayne knows more people than I do, so yes, Steve blogs at No More Mister Nice Blog and Barbara is Barb of Mahablog.

Inspired by Andy

And the number one threat to the nation is...

See World Wide Rant for source of inspiration.

Threatdown Generator via Pen-Elayne.

It's Like Reality Television!

So thanks to Ilyka, I am currently totally fascinated by the blog feud between TBogg and Patterico. This is what I get for taking a day off work. I was considering going to see Pirates of the Caribbean and basking in the utter over-the-topness of Johnny Depp, but this has engrossed me!

Some good things that have come out of this fascination.

1. The comments to this post over at Sadly, No! Some nutter signing his comments The OJ Simpson Case was littering the comments with ridiculous accusations against Patterico. This spawned an entire set of allusions to other legal cases, which then led to all kinds of references to fictional conflicts (e.g., Godzilla v. Mothra). I could just keep reading that comments section and get more entertainment than I have had in the past week.

2. The above-referenced comments section contains one of the silliest mistaken identity occurrences, in which Patterico is said to be a member of The Eagles. Not on purpose, but it was pretty damn funny. To me.

3. My newfound knowledge that norbizness is also The Left. Which is a total relief to me, because I've spent years wondering who The Left was and how to find him or her. I mean, I kept reading over and over how The Left does this and The Left does that, and I just didn't know whom to hold accountable. Now if I can just track down The Right...

Some bad things that have come out of this fascination.

1. I swear, if I read another comment about how someone is a "pussy" or "a fucking girl" or a reference to Michelle Malkin as a "whore" (the last one is in the URL and references Malkin's site)... Aside from the obvious implication that women are weak and/or cowards, which is really what pisses me off, I have a few other issues with it.

I would bet that 90+% of the men who refer to other men as "pussies" have expended a reasonable amount of effort in their lives trying to get some, so WTF is up with that? I mean, really. Dissonance, much? Ditto that for "a fucking girl". How many times did the guy who made that comment wish he could find one? Maybe never, as he might be gay (and with a name like Clarke, I am assuming he's a man), but odds are against it.

Plus, do not MAKE me defend Michelle Malkin. I'm begging you, people. It is possible to criticize women in non-sexual ways. Try it some time. Not liking a woman's politics does not make her a whore.

2. The whole "blogging pseudonymously" makes you a coward thing. I really hate that. I'll grant you it's not precisely what Patterico said, but what he did say isn't really any better. What he more or less said is that accusing other bloggers who don't blog pseudonymously of being cowards or mocking the appearance of bloggers who don't blog pseudonymously while blogging pseudonymously yourself is cowardly. Sorry, I don't buy it, and it does play into the overall blogging pseudonymously is cowardly thing.

If you accuse someone of being a coward for reasons totally unrelated to the name under which they blog, it doesn't matter whether or not you blog under your real name. Either the person is a coward for the reasons stated or they aren't. Under no circumstance does your willingness to blog under your full name make a difference to that argument. Obviously if someone who blogs under a pseudonym accuses someone else of being a coward for doing the same thing, then that is relevant. But that wasn't what happened in the (completely unrelated to TBogg) case that Patterico mentions. He was pissed off because somone named Retardo accused Jeff Goldstein of being a "chickenhawk coward". Obviously a reference to Goldstein's position on the war in Iraq. Either the case against Goldstein stands on the grounds of his being in favor of the war in Iraq or it doesn't. [Personally, I'm not a proponent of the chickenhawk argument.] It does not matter that Retardo chooses not to blog under his/her own name.

As for the whole mocking someone else's appearance thing, there are two problems with that. One is the, I believe, unintentional implication that somehow it would be less offensive if one mocked the appearance of someone who blogged under a pseudonym. Which is patently BS. Speaking as someone who doesn't blog under my full name and has had my appearance mocked (and only by men who didn't even know what I looked like, mind you), it is absolutely just as offensive. I defy anyone to say that the asshole who once felt the need to inform me that "fat chicks also get raped" (no, really, Sherlock) was somehow less of an asshole than he would have been if I used my full name. We all know that's BS.

The other problem is the implication that mocking someone's appearance would be less disgusting if you did it while blogging under your full name. That's BS too. Really, why would it be? Yes, you can hold someone more accountable for their actions if they blog under their own name, but that would lead to a whole host of offline consequences that really shouldn't be faced by the vast majority of bloggers. No one deserves to be harassed at home for mocking someone's appearance. Anyone who does something for which they do deserve offline consequences (as in, be arrested or legitimately sued) can almost always be forced to suffer them regardless of whether they blog under their full name or not. ISPs have records of their customers for just those reasons. Those are matters, however, which should be left in the hands of the justice system, not hordes of blog commenters.

There are very legitimate reasons* why people do choose to blog pseudonymously. Ilyka once posted a very compelling reason why she does. As for myself, look, over my years online, I have been subjected to various unpleasant sexual remarks. While I recognize that the risk is low that one of those freaks might actually decide to track me down and act upon them, it's just not a risk I'm willing to accept. If anyone really believes I'm a coward for that, well, I don't have much flattering to say about them either. Especially since I know that if it did happen, at least some of those very same people would spout victim-blaming BS about my being "stupid" enough to blog under my full name as a woman. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. I choose being damned if I don't. Which is not to say that I see anything wrong with women (or men) who do. It's a personal choice and in no way excuses anything that might happen.

*To be really honest, just feeling like it is a legitimate reason, IMO. FFS, this is blogging. Most of the time, it's just not all that serious, massive blogger egos notwithstanding.

UPDATE: OK, I badly worded that whole thing about why ISPs have records of their customers. Obviously they have records so they can bill them. However, they can be required to turn those records over when someone has done something for which they can be arrested or sued.

ANOTHER UPDATE: OMG, best conflict reference at a Sadly, No! thread or possibly anywhere! "Your Ass v. A Hole In the Ground". I swear, I'm still laughing! Because, yes, I am that childish.

Revenge of the 80s!

OK, so I totally have to concede that "We Built This City" wins for worst 80s song. Or, perhaps, just worst song ever. And Ilyka already posted "Japanese Boy" But, still, no reliving of the bad 80s is complete without this classic (and yet, I like this damn song. Hush):

Or, who can forget this one, even as much as we'd all like to:

Or:

And the final selection in this countdown (ooooh, bad, bad pun):

If Subway Ads Can Be Trusted...

...I'm a Mitchum Man!

Seriously, there's an ad on the subway that reads "If you give up your seat to a pregnant woman... You're a Mitchum Man." Well, I give up my seat to pregnant women. Ergo, I must be a Mitchum Man. Which is odd, because I never thought I was any kind of man.*

*I'm pretty sure this would shock my boyfriend too.

Comments Update

I have contacted Hosting Matters Technical Support to see if they will re-enable commenting on the blog(s). In order to get this done, I have enabled Typekey authentication. This means, anyone wanting to comment will have to register for a Typekey account. I apologize for any inconvenience, but I'm not sure how else to stop the comment spam flooding that led to comments being disabled in the first place.

UPDATE: Comments are back up, but with the aforementioned registration requirement.

Comments Are Totally Down

My hosting service has completely disabled comments. I will see what I can do to fix the problem over the next several days, but comments will likely be down until early next week.

Sorry. If you desperately need to say something to me, send me an e-mail.

Comments Issue

In an effort to reduce spam, as my hosting company was disabling comments due to the volume of spam I was receiving (MT junked it all, so it didn't appear on the blog, but it was hitting the server), I have installed a new plugin. However, it has the unintended consequence of making commenting only possible by using the pop-up comment box. So if you wish to comment for now, please click on Crazy Talk. You won't be able to post a comment from the individual entry page.

Sorry for the inconvenience. I'll see what I can do to fix that.

An Attempt to Distract Myself from the Rout that is the Yankees/Red Sox Game

A rather silly, navel-gazing exercise in which I attempt to aid Googlers in their quests.

1. Q: Who sang the song "Crazy"?
   A: Patsy Cline
   
2. Q: Kick-Ass Movie Quotes?
   A: "I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubblegum." - Rowdy Roddy Piper in They Live.
   
3. Q: What Yankees fans know that Red Sox fans won't admit?
   A: That the Red Sox suck. This is a tautology.
   
4. Q: About the London Bridge?
   A: It's now in Arizona.
   
5. Q: That's the night that the lights went out?
   A: In Georgia.
   
6. Q: Skeletors Castle?
   A: Snake Mountain
   
7. Q: Ross Bagdasarian?
   A: The genius behind Alvin & the Chipmunks, aka David Seville. He also wrote "Come On A My House".
   
8. Q: Bernie Ebbers?
   A: Is no longer a free man.
   
9. Q: Prudence, indeed, will dictate that relationships long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shown that mankind are more disposed to suffer, whil...
   A: You want the Declaration of Independence, not a blog.
   
10. Q: Is this enough "assistance" yet?
    A: It is for now.

Q1 Dead Pool Stats

Well, my last two posts came down to the wire in the blogging requirement for this year's Dead Pool, but I managed them all.

Adler, Steven
Biggs, Ronnie
Castro, Fidel
Douglas, Kirk
Galbraith, John Kenneth
Getty, Estelle
Hamilton, Scott
Heston, Charlton
Ho, Don
Hussein, Saddam
Johnson, Lady Bird
King Sihanouk of Cambodia
Knievel, Evel
LaRouche, Lyndon
Shriver, Eunice Kennedy

Even though my last two waited until the last week, I'm still doing better than some.

Searchers I Love; Searchers I Loathe

I am proud to be the 4th entry in a Google search for red sox fans classless. These are searchers I love.

On the other hand, how I ever got to be the top result of a Google search for clemens piazza wallpaper is beyond me. I'd be hard-pressed to think of two ballplayers I like less. In fact, Roger Clemens is the ballplayer I least like. Yes, yes, awesome pitcher. Still don't like him. These are searchers I loathe.

Another Round of Search Results!

I'm tired. I had to work late. I have to be up very early. I received the DVD of the second season of Arrested Development today. So rather than blog anything meaningful, I'm going to play a round of Search Results!

Someone joins us today by searching for I am feminists. Well, at any rate, I am a feminist. I'm not plural.

Another feminism-related search: feminist beliefs with housework. Yes, feminist beliefs now come with housework! Actually, they never came without it. There is nothing in feminism that says women shouldn't do housework. We don't all live like slobs, you know. The general idea was that men and women should SHARE in housework.

Raging red rodent? I'm not sure I want to know.

Toys r Us Easter Commercial. Why? Oh why must you remind me of that damn commercial. Now I'll have Peter Cottontail running through my head. Damn you!

Until later! Off to enjoy Arrested Development.

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to everyone who celebrates it!

For a few Christmas songs, click on the wreath above.

Speaking of Security

You may have noticed or will soon notice that I put a security code on the comments section (aka CAPTCHA). Sorry. I just got tired of dealing with comment spam, but didn't want to go all the way to requiring registration to comment. This seemed like a reasonable compromise.

At Least the Picture Isn't of Boy George

Does this mean I get to wear a really cool long leather duster? Because I'm down with that.

Androgynous You scored 63 masculinity and 66 femininity!

You scored high on both masculinity and femininity. You have a strong personality exhibiting characteristics of both traditional sex roles.

Via Rox Populi

About Comments

I just deleted a long, rambling comment which had absolutely nothing to do with the entry it was posted to. I can only think that it is probably a spam comment that was posted to a lot of blogs at the same time, even though it wasn't the typical spam comment advertising other websites. Not to mention the fact that the comment was anti-Christian and anti-Semitic.

So let's make this clear. Comments should be relevant to the entry they are posted to. If the entry is about the Cowboy Junkies, the comment should be about, you know, the Cowboy Junkies or other bands. Not a diatribe about how evil Jesus was and how the Jews are pulling the strings. And not for nothing, but any comments like that will just be deleted anyway. Period, the end. If someone wants to rant about that, they should get their own damn blog. I don't hold by talk like that. Not in my house, whether it be real or virtual.

The Meme's the Thing

You are a Gender Nazi. Your boundary-crossing
lifestyle inspires awe in your friends and
colleagues. Or maybe they're just scared you
will kick their asses for using gender-specific
language. Either way, the wife-beater helps.


What kind of postmodernist are you!?
brought to you by Quizilla

Look, I totally object to the use of the term "wife-beater". Besides, I wouldn't be caught dead in one!

Via UnSpecified Chatter

Tis the Season...

...to do budgets! Long rambling post to follow.

This was the first semi-normal day I've had in weeks. I wasn't working ridiculous hours. I wasn't working all day (like I did yesterday). I had a 9 am conference call, but that was the end of the work I had to do today.

What a great day to not have to work. The weather was fabulous. Real beautiful fall weather. New York City is really at its best during the fall. The crisp weather truly suits it. I met a friend for lunch. We then walked around, heading down to Union Square. We went into the Barnes & Noble, where I was very happy to see that Gregory Maguire had a new novel out. "Son of a Witch" is the sequel to "Wicked", one of my favorite pieces of modern fiction. In fact, with the death of Robertson Davies some 10 years ago, Gregory Maguire has become my favorite modern author. He's an excellent writer and a storyteller both (with the exception of "Lost", which I am willing to consider an anomaly).

Speaking of books, I'm currently struggling through "Portrait of a Killer: Jack the Ripper Case Closed". I normally love Patricia Cornwell, primarily because I do have a morbid fascination with the psychology of serial killers. If I didn't have such a problem dealing with blood and death, I might have become either a forensic pathologist or a profiler. However, this book is just poor. When she actually writes about the scientific evidence tying her suspect to the crimes, it's quite fascinating. However too much of the book is spent in idle speculation. Paraphrasing - "I don't know if Sickert gambled. But I have no reason to believe he did not." If you don't have any evidence on way or the other, why mention it? I suppose the pure scientific evidence (paper samples, writing analysis) wasn't enough to fill a book any publisher would deign to publish. Nonetheless, reading this book has given me an interest in seeing the paintings of Walter Sickert, an artist with whom I was not previously familiar. I understand they are quite grotesque, but I would be interested to see how much they do, in fact, match the murders of Jack the Ripper.

Ha! Falco's "Der Kommissar" just popped up on my iTunes! I love that song. Is it sad that I scoured the web to find an mp3 of it to download? I vastly prefer his German version to the English version performed by After the Fire. "Alles klar, Herr Kommissar?"

So what fun things have you all been up to this weekend?

Whew! I Can Still Do 8th Grade Math

You Passed 8th Grade Math

Congratulations, you got 10/10 correct!

Via feministe. But I'm not going to draw the pig, because I don't draw particularly well using a mouse.

The Blogosphere Division Series Scorecard

And Laurence has it. So if you're wondering who your favorite bloggers are rooting for in the Division Series, go check it out.

So, what do you think gave it away that I was rooting for the Yankees?

We Take Stupid Online Quizzes!

Shocking, I think, no one.

You are a Social Liberal (86% permissive) and an... Economic Conservative (76% permissive) You are best described as a: Libertarian Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid

Via Andy

Call Me Honest Abe

I could have pocketed an extra $20 at Rite Aid this afternoon. I requested the maximum in cash back - $40 - and was given $60. Being the honest soul that I am, I pointed out the error to the clerk. What a swell guy, huh?

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Nice post from Michele on the situation in New Orleans. Long, but well said and compassionate.

Remember, whatever you can do to help, please do so. In fact, Michele is taking up a collection of school supplies to ship to the Astrodome. If you can or wish to donate, she takes PayPal.

Days of 49

You can always use a meme to take your mind off things.

Seven by seven.

Seven things I plan to do before I die.

1. Visit the town in Austria my father was born in.
   
2. Go to Angkor Wat.
   
3. Read "Crime and Punishment", as I've never actually been able to get through the damn thing.
   
4. Buy a Marc Jacobs handbag.
   
5. Drive Route 66, and play every version of the song I can find during the trip.
   
6. Tour Egypt.
   
7. Really learn swing dance.

Seven things I can do.

1. Math in my head.
   
2. Type about 100 words per minute.
   
3. Draw a really good version of Marvelous Mark from Doonesbury. The old Marvelous Mark from the 1970s, that is.
   
4. Remember song lyrics really well.
   
5. Quote "The Holy Grail" chapter and verse.
   
6. Put together crappy pre-built furniture from Ikea all by my lonesome.
   
7. Program a VCR, for all the good that does me these days.

Seven things I cannot do.

1. Sing well.
   
2. Wean myself off artificial sweeteners.
   
3. Stop feeling guilty.
   
4. Avoid blogging memes.
   
5. Watch "Mommy Dearest". It's the only movie I ever walked out on.
   
6. Get over my fear of heights.
   
7. Leave the house without wearing a little makeup.

Seven things that I find really attractive about the opposite sex.

1. Gray hair on a youngish man.
   
2. Cleanliness.
   
3. Wearing a really well-cut suit.
   
4. Hands.
   
5. Butts.
   
6. Making me laugh. I have a weird fetish for comedians.
   
7. Being Canadian. I also have a weird fetish for Canadians.

Seven things I say the most.

1. Actually.
   
2. So I've got that going for me.
   
3. Sweet!
   
4. I'm amazed he/she finds his/her way to work each day.
   
5. What the hell?
   
6. Next.
   
7. The.

Seven books I love.

1. Dune
   
2. Alice in Wonderland
   
3. Right Ho, Jeeves
   
4. Jane Eyre
   
5. Emma
   
6. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
   
7. A Wrinkle in Time

Seven people I would like to see take this quiz.

Like I could name seven bloggers who would even listen to me.

How Low Can You Go?

I love it when a meme comes along to stop me from having to come up with an original thought.

Give us ten of your quirky, opinionated, perhaps socially-unacceptable or politically incorrect opinions. They can be esoteric, generic, unpopular, or obvious. Just write down ten of them.

Wheee!

1. The person who invented those plastic cases that are crimped on all four sides needs to be shot.
   
2. Kiss sucks. I hate them. I never served in the Kiss Army. Not even in the reserves.
   
3. What the hell is up with low-rise pants? When did plumbers become a source of fashion trends? I want normal cut pants, dammit!
   
4. Hi, if you're about to enter or exit a subway station, DO NOT stop right at the top or bottom of the stairs, blocking everyone from moving freely. Because that's just stupid.
   
5. Damn tourists.
   
6. France does not suck. It's actually quite nice. And the food is good.
   
7. Why are so many conservatives always hatin' on the latte? It's a tasty beverage.
   
8. I.cannot.stand.sushi.
   
9. The world would be a much finer place if everyone just did what I wanted them to.
   
10. Please, please, please don't wear sandals if you don't trim your toenails. I mean, really, who wants to see that?

Via CG Hill.

Give It to Me

Feedster me, Seymour.

Ignore the above. I went back and did the whole claim your Feedster feed thing again. This time it worked.

Dear Summer

Have I mentioned lately how much I dislike you, that you are my least favorite season of the year, behind even winter, which sucks, too?

Fondly yours,

Jon