Plum Crazy

Well, Now We Know

One of the country's great mysteries has finally been solved. We now know the identity of Deep Throat, the whistleblower on the Nixon Administration. Then Deputy FBI Director Mark Felt.

I never heard of him. I was only 10 at the time. I later heard speculation that it might have been Al Haig. Well, I knew who Al Haig was. He made me laugh during that whole "I'm in charge thing."

Then there was the speculation that it was Pat Buchanan. I never bought it. In large part, because I just don't like Pat Buchanan, so I didn't really want it to be someone I didn't like.

Of course, there was the Henry Kissinger rumor. Yeah, because Mr. Realpolitik himself was going to turn tables on the man who put him in such a position of power.

But it turns out to be someone I've never even heard of. I must confess, I feel a kind of letdown. All these years wondering who Deep Throat was.

I suppose I'd only feel more of a letdown if it turned out the Warren Commission Report says Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone.

Coming Soon to a House Near You

At least one part of the Jetson's future is coming true:

(Click for large, futuristic size.)

Now where the hell are the flying cars, dammit?!?

The Answer... TLSBV4

In a switch from 80's alternative, TLSBV4 brought us some metal from the 70s. It also got a lot more responses than TLSBV3. Yes, indeed, the song was "Paranoid" by Black Sabbath. It is one of only two Black Sabbath songs I'm really familiar with and like. I never was a metalhead. With the flat top and yellow hair I sported in college, Lesley was a punk rocker.

Cart B4 Horse

Now I am aware that I am the only person on the blog who remotely cares about this, but don't you think the Cleveland Cavaliers should have hired a general manager before they hired a coach? The two have to work together, and it's customary to let the GM hire the coach to ensure they're on the same page. Forced marriages don't usually work.

A Special Thanks

To all those who sacrificed their lives so that I can sit here in a comfortable apartment, blogging on a laptop, sipping Diet Sprite and eating Oreos. As mundane as all of that sounds, a lot of people in the world don't have even 1/10th of that, and I do appreciate that fact.

Unfairly Exclusionary

Who cares if this woman isn't an American citizen? Her son died while fighting for the U.S. in Afghanistan. Her loss is no less than that of those mothers who are citizens and lost sons or daughters. She deserves to be a Gold Star Mother as much as anyone else. After all, isn't it Democracy that we're fighting for, the belief that people should be included, not excluded?

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

To get a ticket.

Who the hell gives tickets to chickens?

Whither Barnes & Noble?

I took a drive to the large Barnes & Noble in Clifton today, because there were a couple of books I wanted to pick up. I figured the smaller Barnes & Noble in Hoboken wouldn't have them. Much to my surprise, neither did the large one. At least I think they didn't. It was very difficult to find books there. Sure, they were nicely categorized by genre. But by author? Not so much. Things were totally out of place. And not just within a given letter. There were Cs in the Bs. Ws in the Ts. Other than having gotten my car out for a spin, I feel like I wasted a trip.

So I got home, logged onto the PC, and ordered them from Amazon instead.

Goodbye to the Littlest Jangel

My sweet little kitty, Jane Eyre, was put down this morning. The growth in her lung had gotten bigger, and she couldn't breathe well any longer. She was hacking or wheezing most of the time, unable to get comfortable. There was nothing the vets could do for her. She had a very bad reaction to chemotherapy, so that wasn't an option. As long as her breathing was all right, she could live with the lump. But that stopped two nights ago. The vet tried giving her asthma medication, to see if that might help, but it did not. At that point, it was clear that she was suffering without any help available. She was almost 15 years old.

She was the sweetest, happiest, most content kitty I ever knew. Even the vets would always remark at how she never complained, regardless of what they did. Even a shot in her muscle wouldn't evoke a flinch or meow.

I remember when I first got her. It was in September 1990. She was 12 weeks old. She had been abandoned by her previous owner. I was at the apartment of a woman who worked for Friends of Animal, picking out two kittens. I sat down on the woman's bed in a roomful of kittens. Jane jumped on the bed and immediately curled up by my leg and went to sleep. I knew then that I would take her home. She had picked me, after all. How could I not?

I took her back to my apartment. At first, she was scared and confused. She immediately hid under the bed. It was a daybed with a trundle underneath it, but she was such a small kitten that she could squeeze underneath the trundle. She wouldn't come out for two days. I put food and water by the foot of the bed. After a couple of days, she finally came out. From that time on, she was very attached to me (and I to her). She was scared of everyone else (other than the vet), but she loved and trusted me completely.

She was always good at finding places to hide, though. She did like to curl up in cozy, covered places. When I moved into Manhattan, into a studio apartment, I was terrified that she had somehow gotten out. I couldn't find her for hours. She had managed to jump behind the refrigerator and go to sleep underneath it. If the closet doors would open, I would often find her curled up in the back of the closet. She would regularly disguise herself as a quilt as well, especially during colder weather.

But she would also sleep next to me on the bed. She would flirt with me when I came home, playing roly poly. She would hold my head down with her paw so she could clean my face. Apparently she had mistaken me for her kitten, even though she never had kittens. And she would purr. Boy would she purr. She purred more loudly than any cat I've ever known. Especially for such a small cat.

I will miss her terribly. It's hard for me to believe that I will never see her again, hold her, kiss her little head, or hear her purr. But at least she's not suffering now.

Goodbye Jangel. I will always love you.

Name That Tune. . . 12

It's been ages since a Jon version of Name That Tune. Keeping in spirit with recent postings on the Blog, is the force with you on this entry?

Well, I left home just a week before
And I've never ever been a Jedi before
But Obi Wan, he set me straight, of course

The usual stern warning applies.

Dear Lesley

I have received your request and have decided to cooperate.

The Weather

Met Him In A Bank Down in Dagobah

I love this picture from CNN Money.

"If rate I raise, burst, the frothy bubble will. If rates I lower, inflation will I get. Unclear, is the housing market."

Name That Tune... TLSBV4

Okay, we're going for something less obscure today. And in a different genre than the last 3. So, can you Name That Tune in one sentence?

People think I'm insane because I am frowning all the time.

Go for it. Don't blurt. Be subtle.

UPDATE: People, this is not an obscure song, nor is it by an obscure band. Yet only John has guessed (correctly). I can only think I picked an obscure sentence from it. Let me see if you can name this tune in two sentences.

Can you help me occupy my brain?

Dear Weather

It pains me to have to point this out to you again, but it is still May. In fact, it is now nearly June.

Thanks again for your consideration.

The Answer... TLSBV3

Apparently I got too obscure in the last entry of Name That Tune... The Lesley Strikes Back Version. Only Anne even ventured an answer. It was, indeed, the right answer. The song was "Just Like Honey" by "The Jesus and Mary Chain". I expect all of you who knew "Ana Ng" and "Kiss Off" to now run right out, find yourselves a recording of both "Just Like Honey" and "Head On" by "The Jesus and Mary Chain", and listen to them! Hop to it. This is an astonishing gap in your 80s alternative musical knowledge.

Wonder Twin Powers, Activate!

Ha! My story on the theme of soup submitted in the comments section of 100 Words or Les Nessman was picked to be promoted to post! I will not repost it here, to make you click over to that fine blog to read it.

BTW, if you're not reading 100 Words or Les Nessman everyday, what's wrong with you?

Return of the Dorks

Check this out. Triumph the Insult Dog outside the Zegfield Theater before the premiere of Star Wars II. Freaking hysterical. Be warned it's about 10 minutes long.

A Niggling Grievance with Revenge of the Sith

Can we talk about General Grievous' accent? Whose brilliant idea was it to give him that cheesy damn accent? I kept expecting him to say "Kill moose and squirrel." Except for one time, when I swore he was channeling Lord John Whorfin saying "Doomed is your soul and damned is your life."

We Have Achieved...

...Darth Vader!

UPDATE: The movie was excellent. Not better than Empire, but definitely better than Return of the Jedi. The lack of fighting teddy bears didn't hurt. Obviously it was better than the last two atrocities. The film did live up to my expectations.

I had read that people were hoping that somehow Anakin would not to turn into Darth Vader, even though they knew it was a vain hope. I was not amongst those people. I was happy when the transformation to Vader finally occurred. The breathing. James Earl Jones' voice. I wish there had been even more.

Only venture below if you don't mind spoilers.

They did tie up some loose ends. They off-handedly explained why the ghosts of Anakin and Obi Wan were able to appear in Return of the Jedi, even though according to the first two movies, dead Jedis became one with the Force.

They also explain why C3P0 has no memory of Anakin/Vader in the original trilogy, even though Anakin built him.

I don't quite grasp why in one sentence Yoda suggested they had to hide the children somewhere the Sith couldn't find them, but several sentences later thought it would be a really good idea to send Luke to Tatooine to live with his aunt and uncle (aka Anakin's stepbrother and sister-in-law). I'm just thinking there was the possibility that Vader might actually keep tabs on his family. I realize this is probably why Vader knew he had a son, but did not know he had a daughter until Luke told him. But why the lapse in Yoda's thought process?

After this film, I understood a bit more the casting of Ewan McGregor as Obi Wan. He does actually physically look like he might turn into Alec Guinness when he's 70. Although he still lacks the acting chops. Either that or he was very poorly directed.

Hayden Christensen - So not becoming James Earl Jones when he grows up. Yes, they explained how Anakin became seduced by the Dark Side. But the kid lacks the presence to believably become the Darth Vader.

Natalie Portman - I know she can actually act, as I've seen her do so in other films. So she must have been hideously directed. Like a stick of wood wearing danishes on the side of her head, she was (okay, the danishes only appeared in one scene).

Yoda? Well, Yoda still rocks.

What I Worry About

W drew a line in the sand today regarding cloning research taking place in South Korea:

Bush expressed concern about a reported stem cell advance in South Korea.

A South Korean scientist said on Friday a groundbreaking study on stem cell research was funded with less than $200,000 a year in largely government grants. Woo Suk Hwang of Seoul National University said they had successfully created batches of embryonic stem cells from patients.

"I'm very concerned about cloning," Bush said. "I worry about a world in which cloning would be acceptable."

President Bush, I worry about a world in which we deny people the medical treatment they need because of the beliefs of a minority religious group.

Darth Vader 1 And Counting

One more day to Darth Vader! So today's installment is about Boba Fett. MC Chris performs the Best.Rap Song.Ever! (Please right-click and save; don't stream. Besides, the Force will reclaim the link in a couple of days.)

Darth Vader Says!

Darth Vader 2 And Counting

As we inch ever closer to Darth Vader, I bring you the Lego Star Wars videogame. Well, a demo of it that you can play online. They charge you money for the actual game.

Darth Vader Says!

Dear People Blaming Newsweek for the Terrorist Attacks

When did you start carrying the multiculturalist banner? I'm all in favor of respecting other people's cultures, for the most part, but, hi, hello? Killing 17 people in response to a book (maybe) being flushed down a toilet? Not an acceptable response. Had this occurred in response to the brouhaha over the Piss Christ, would you all be sitting here blaming the artist? Actually, maybe you would. Which would be frightening. Because, see above - Not an acceptable response.

Thanks.

P.S. Not an acceptable response.

Darth Vader 3 And Counting

Today I bring you Nick the lounge lizard (aka Bill Murray) singing the Star Wars theme! (Please right-click and save; don't stream. Besides, the Force will reclaim the link in a couple of days.)

Darth Vader Says!

Darth Vader 4 And Counting

Is George Lucas a racist, sexist, anti-Semitic, Bush-bashing scum?

Darth Vader Says!

Darth Vader 5 And Counting

Today's entry - If OutKast was actually a guy named Branden Boetticher and did a song about Yoda. (Please right-click and save; don't stream. Besides, the Force will reclaim the link in a couple of days.)

Darth Vader Says!

The Only Man* Who Can Make Me Forget My Unnatural Affection for Darth Vader

Tino just hit his second homer in two at-bats! Click on the picture for Bamtino size.

*Okay, not really, but the other one is currently out of town, so his loss.

Name That Tune... TLSBV3

Yes, America my 10 regular readers, it's time once again to delve into the annals of music that I listen to and play Name That Tune... The Lesley Strikes Back Version! I know you've all been anxiously awaiting another fun-filled episode, so I'll keep you waiting no longer.

I know my brother can't, but can the rest of you name this tune in 3 sentences?

I'll be your plastic toy.
I'll be your plastic toy.
For you.

As always, don't blurt. Be subtle.

Darth Vader 6 And Counting

Today's installment in the Star Wars Countdown - Darth Vader Version is the original trilogy recreated with Lego bricks.

Darth Vader Says!

Darth Vader 7 And Counting

I have tickets to see Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith for next Saturday afternoon. So in honor of the completion of George Lucas' vision and the "birth" of my favorite Star Wars character, I bring you the Star Wars Countdown - Darth Vader version! For the next week, I will bring you one Star Wars-related link a day. Today's link comes to us through hnumpah.

It's Grocery Store Wars!

May the Farm be with you.

Darth Vader Says!

Things I Wish Other People Had Never Said

Married Guy: If I can't be with you, I might die.

Me: No, really, you won't.

Do those kinds of lines actually work on other women?

Things I Wish I'd Never Said

Me: Hey look, they're already selling tickets for "Star Wars".

Bruce: When does it open?

Me: May 19th. You know, I may be a geek, but at least I'm not enough of a geek to want to see it the very day it opens.

Bruce:

Me: You actually want to see it the day it opens?

Bruce: Well, I was thinking about it.

Dear Pat

Yes.*

Love and kisses.

*For a serious and much better written response than I could ever muster, read this from Vodkapundit.

To Eat or Not to Eat

I bought a box of Life cereal from the corner grocer this evening. When I opened the box, which was sealed, the inside bag was open at the corners. Being paranoid, I took it back to the store. They were most obliging and actually decided to eat the cereal themselves rather than return it to the vendor. I ask you, would you have eaten from that box? And I really hope nothing happens to the woman. Forget about her, I'd be the prime suspect!

Those Plum Crazy Kids!

Well, you know what I look like. [Actually, looked like. I went back to my natural hair color (really dark brown) a few weeks ago, so I no longer have that Sigourney Weaver-esque reddish hair I was sporting for several years.] But you don't know what Jon looks like. Now you can see us both together again for the first time.

The Answer...TLSBV2

Congratulations to all participants! 4 for 4 on the song "Kiss Off" by the Violent Femmes. It was, in fact, the 20th track on the Violent Femmes' "Viva Wisconsin" LP, as pointed out by ac. Rick gives us clues to the name of the band (although despite their name, they actually were men). Justin had a very clever clue referencing the band Kiss. And the Heretik gives us yet more lyrics from the song.

I'm Officially A Freaky Mac Cultist

As I sit here blogging from my new 12" Apple Powerbook, it occurs to me that I have officially turned into a freaky Mac cultist. Sure, I was heading down that road with my initial iPod purchase. I managed to stave off the Mac cravings for several years though. But no more.

Listen, though, if I start lighting candles in a shrine dedicated to Steve Jobs, just have me committed. Okay?

Because my shrine to Bill Gates is taking up enough space.* What do I need with two shrines?

*No, I do not really have a shrine to Bill Gates. What kind of freak do you take me for? He's a necessary evil. My shrine is to Tino Martinez.**

**Okay, I don't really have a shrine to Tino Martinez either. But I bet some of you believed that for a minute, didn't you?

Name That Tune... TLSBV2

Yes, it's time for another round of music Lesley knows! How many of the rest of you can name this tune?

I hope you know that this will go down on your permanent record.

As always, do like the good book Dietz says - Be subtle.

Dear General Tso

You make a nice chicken.

Yours in the bond of MSG.

Go Ahead & Mock Me

Some laughed with me, others at me after I discovered that the complete power cord for my Dell laptop was in the box only after I dismantled the box to recycle it. I now lay out my latest exercise in absentmindedness.

I was heading into Manhattan via the Long Island Rail Road for a doctor's appointment this morning. Bear in mind that I work for the LIRR and ride for free. As long as I have the pass on me. Patting my pockets on the way to the station, I don't feel the pass, but since it's too late to turn around, I keep going, knowing that I can get a roundtrip ticket for a modest $6. I pay the roundtrip freight, and then what happens when I got to my doctor's office? I stick my hand inside my pants pocket for some reason and presto! find my pass. Whoops! Up to you whether to laugh with me or at me.

Dear Weather

I'd just like to point out to you that it's now MAY!

Thanks for your kind attention to this matter.

You Cannot Be Serious

Is it me or is Tony Blair having a serious Johhny Mac moment in this picture?

Click below and judge for yourself.

Don't Panic

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" - Cute. Many changes from the book. Alan Rickman rocked as the voice of Marvin the Paranoid Android.

List Day

In honor of list day at a small victory:

"Chick flicks” that I, a man, love:
• When Harry Met Sally
• Terms of Endearment
• An Officer and a Gentleman
• Pretty Woman
• Desperately Seeking Susan
• The Princess Bride
• Before Sunrise
• Before Sunset
• Kate & Leopold
• Fifty First Dates
• Legally Blond

“Guy” movies that I, a guy, do not like:
• Rambo
• Rocky II-V
• Blade Runner
• Star Wars I, II, and V
• Shane
• Sudden Impact
• The Fifth Element
• Rush Hour
• Beverly Hills Cop II
• Goodfellas
• Solaris

Movies that I, as a hardened, cynical, unfeeling, soulless person tend to break down in tears while watching:
• Terms of Endearment
• Schindler’s List
• The Killing Fields
• The Color of Paradise
• Life Is Beautiful
• Penny Serenade
• Brian’s Song

And the Answer Is. . . 11

Neil Young's Unknown Legend. It's off Harvest Moon, his 1992 "sequel" to Harvest.

The inspiration for using this song came from watching the webcast of Kathleen Edwards' live performance on KCRW radio. It was the last song she did. About to say whom the song was by, she pulled back at the last second and admonished the audience that they be would "in trouble" if they didn't know. Alas, I did recognize that it was a Neil Young song that I had heard in the past, but couldn't place until after Googling the lyrics.

BT had no such problems, leaving a cryptic clue:

Linda and Nicolette sound sweet singing with the Dreaming Man about Hank and Hendrix and Old King and other legends of the fall.

I don't know who Nicolette is (help here, BT), but Linda is Linda Ronstadt who sang back-up on Harvest and came back for this album. The other references are about songs on the album. The last is an outstanding reference to the song at hand plus the autumn-inspired title of the album.

How to Get Off Jury Duty in One Easy Step

My sentiments about the Jennifer Wilbanks case remind me of how I got bounced as a prospective juror last year. We were brought in for the case of a woman charged with interfering with police officers during a drug arrest. Two thoughts went through my mind when the judge read the charges. The first was since when do they actually go to trial for such a small offense. The second, upon looking at the middle-age black woman before us, was that she looks like someone's kindly mother who under normal circumstances probably wouldn't hurt a fly. Yes, I realize that's judging a book by its cover and I could have been dead wrong. Still, I couldn't help but think that she was protecting someone close to her and really hadn't done anything that outlandish, otherwise, she would have been on trial for a more serious crime. Again, another leap on my part. But when it came time to answer the prosecutor's question if any of us would have a problem finding her guilty, I spoke up with the simple comment, "Based on the nature of the charges, I'm not sure it's worthwhile" or something to that effect. Just like that I was a goner. The woman, however, was certainly happy with me. She gave me a big nod in agreement. Wonder what ever happened and if the case was what I thought it to be. I will never know.

Let Her Be

Word is that authorities in Georiga are weighing charges against runaway bride-to-be Jennifer Wilbanks. Although there is evidence that she planned her cross-country trip ahead of time, I say cut her some slack. I do not deny that she acted recklessly and put family, friends, and authorities through the wringer needlessly. However, as the more understanding authorities in New Mexico note, she was a "person in crisis" who acted out of confusion and desperation. Her crime is minor and likely hurt no one other than those closest to her. That is a matter for them to work out personally. Perhaps authorities can strike a happy medium by letting her plead to a lesser charge and sentencing her to community servicing and counseling.