Plum Crazy

Damn Yankees

So now certain French Catholics are saying Halloween is an "ungodly U.S. import." Yeah, well, you know our balance of trade just sucks, so I guess we'll export anything.

Although I could have sworn that Halloween was based on a pagan holiday known as the Feast of Samhain; Samhain being a Celtic kind of deity. It's news to me that the Celts were from the U.S. All this time I was walking around thinking they were from Ireland (and, as I now find out, from Northern France as well).

Then the Catholic Church took said pagan holiday and renamed it All Hallow's Eve, making the next day one to venerate all saints. When the Catholic Church became a U.S.-based institution is beyond me. BTW, dressing up in costumes was to ward off evil spirits and long predates European settlers arriving in North America.

So far no hint of the U.S., but what the hell. Apparently the French haven't gotten into the whole "Blame Canada" thing. Can't we export South Park there or something?

A Conspiracy I Can Really Get Behind

Yes, it's the Jewish Fashion Conspiracy. And you gotta love the URL: www.jewsforjeter.com. Although, personally, I was more in favor of a Jews for Martinez thing (Tino!), Jews for Jeter has that whole play on words thing working for it.

Happy Halloween to You

And Happy One-Year Blogiversary to me. I'm not sure which is scarier. Anyway, let me leave you a spooky sound clip from Count Floyd. Oooh, boys and girls, isn't that scary?

To Ban or Not to Ban

I was writing a response to a comment by Don Myers on this post over at the Rant, when I realized my comment was achieving tome-like length. So rather than inflict that upon the comments section of Rick, Dietz, and now Tom Sawyer, I will post my response here.

Jesus...this screed [ed. Tom Sawyer's post regarding government encroachment on things like smoking and eating fatty foods] is worse than the gun control one. It's poorly-reasoned, sloppily written, and too damn long.

My dad used to say "your right to swing your fist ends at someone else's nose." If a smoker chooses to give themselves cancer in their own home, that's their (very poor) choice. But when you smoke in public, you're giving cancer to others.

Really, now...how self-centered do you have to be to argue that an entire roomful of strangers should accept being exposed to toxic fumes because it would INCONVIENIENCE you too much to drag your loathsome, spotty behind outside?

First in response to Tom's mentioning potential Twinkie taxation, let me say that I think taxing Twinkies is redundant. Eating a piece of plastic filled with foam is already a form of taxation. I hate Twinkies. Now Devil Dogs...

Now onto Don's comment. The point Tom was making about the smoking is regarding private establishments. Should I choose to allow someone to smoke in my living room, that is my right, even if other people visiting my house would prefer I did not. The other people can always leave the room, refuse to visit me, or deal with the second-hand smoke.

On the other hand, if I wish to tell someone lighting up in my living room to drag his/her loathsome, spotty behind outside, that is also my right, regardless if he/she objects. The smoker can decide to shun me from thenceforth or put up with my decision.

If I own a restaurant, whose decision is it whether or not smokers are allowed? Mine, as the proprietor, or the government's? The same rights are given to the objecting parties in either case (the choice to lump it or to leave). If I decide to lump it, didn't I make a choice which says that the convenience of eating at that restaurant is greater to me than the inconvienence of inhaling second-hand smoke? Aren't I accepting exposure to toxic fumes voluntarily?

If enough non-smokers were to make the opposite choice, you'd get restaurants banning smoking voluntarily. The thing is that most people don't care enough to refuse to frequent a restaurant because there are smokers. There are enough of us (non-smokers) to actually effect such a change, but rather than do it, we seem to prefer making the government do it for us. That strikes me as being either defeatist or lazy.

I don't know what was wrong with having smoking and non-smoking sections in restaurants. That seemed to me to be a completely reasonable compromise. Those who don't wish to be exposed to second-hand smoke could avoid it while still dining at that restaurant. Those who wish to smoke could do so while still dining at that restaurant. The ban in New York City on smoking in restaurants, bars, and clubs has had the effect of driving people out into New Jersey. More specifically, Hoboken. Gee, thanks, Mayor Bloomberg. On the one hand, commerce has increased here. On the other, it was already too freaking crowded in restaurants after work and on weekends and parking was a big enough nightmare.

Having said all that, there was a time when it was simply considered amazingly uncouth to smoke in public. Smokers censored themselves, refusing to inflict their dirty little habit on non-smokers. There were special clubs where smokers would go and light up. But in polite company, tobacco was a no-no. That is, IMO, the way it should be. Smokers should stop insisting that they have the right to impose their choice on those who made no such choice, since those who made no such choice are in no way negatively impacting smokers. There is no right to do whatever you want wherever and whenever you want.

There should be a recognition of the impact of one's behavior on others. I just don't think it's up to the government to enforce it. Although I don't find it particularly surprising that people want them to. In general, people want a certain level of civility in society, and when it is not voluntarily forthcoming, they will seek other means to bring it about. The easiest is to have the government legislate it. A little less self-absorption would have gone a long way towards avoiding things like political correctness, zero tolerance, and smoking bans. Ultimately we broadly have no one to blame but ourselves.

Eating/Team-Building

Way back, at the end of August, a colleague and I came up with a little idea for how to have some fun at work - Start a Taste-Off. A taste-off is our name for a taste-test. Since I've heard multiple reports of participants sharing this with family, friends, and acquaintances who wish to mimic it, I figured I'd tell you all about it too.

We started off with the idea that we'd stack up Dunkin Donuts against Krispy Kreme across several varieties. Week 1, we did a Boston Kreme taste-off (Dunkin Donuts wiped the floor with the poor Krispy Kreme showing), moving on to Chocolate Glazed, Jelly, Glazed, and Iced. At the end, the winners of each category competed against each other for a Donut Best in Show. The Dunkin Donuts Boston Kreme emerged victorious.

Although initially we had then planned on doing muffins, bagels, etc., we revisited our plans at the end of the Donut segment and decided to move on to packaged goods instead. You know, all those gooey Hostess and Drakes Cakes goodies we all grew up with. This time we changed our methodology. We're doing an elimination taste-off, starting with quarter-finals and ending with a winner-take-all championship round. We seeded the 12 contestants and had our first quarter-final match today. There was an upset, with Gonzaga Ho-Hos beating Arizona Twinkies. 12th-seeded Sno-Balls did better than you might think, but still finished last. Yeah, the quarter-finals are 3-way competitions. It was just easier.

It's been tons of fun. Lots of merriment and camaraderie.

BTW, we don't eat entire servings of anything. We generally cut things into halves or quarters so as to not completely blimp out. In fact, I just started Weight Watchers (I want to go back down from a size 10 to a size 6, my size prior to 9/11), and managed to stay within my daily points total even eating 3 meals and participating in the taste-off. Sticking to quarters of each treat brought me in at 2.5 points for the entire exercise out of a daily allotment of 22. So I skipped my afternoon tea with half and half. Tell me you wouldn't rather have a quarter of a Ho-Ho than a cuppa.

Mutual Fund Madness

Yay, more financial scandals, just what we needed! Looks like some mutual fund managers were engaging in improper trading by timing their fund trades. Any bets on who gets blamed first, Bush or Clinton? I'm going with someone blaming Bush first ("The evil Bushies in league with the big bad corporations!"), with the inevitable follow-ups of "It started under the Clinton administration, therefore it's his fault!"

Bah, humbug. Neither of them is at all closely involved with mutual fund management. Wall Street scandals go much further back than that. They're all about greed, not politics. Isn't greed one of the seven deadly sins, thus proving its existence predates anyone's favorite political punching bags?

Mikey Speculation

First, let me say that I actually think this idea that Mikey is proposing would provide a good service to the millions of cell phone users in New York City. Dead spots are annoying and knowing where they are would be helpful. I'm not sure it's the best use of city resources, especially in a year when taxes went up so much to help cover the budget deficit, but I do think it will be helpful.

On to some general speculation. I've noticed that Mikey's presence in the news has diminished quite a bit over the last couple of months. He seems to be keeping something of a low profile. I'm beginning to think he might actually opt not to run for reelection in 2005, figuring that it is better to leave on your own than lose as an incumbent. If that is the case, I think it's a smart move on his part. He's not a dumb man, just a bad mayor.

At the Old Ballgame

Baseball is over for the year. It's now time for fans of New York teams to settle in to the long dark winter of the goal. Let's just get right out in front of it.

The Giants suck.
The Rangers suck. Yes, they beat Detroit today. They still suck.
The Knicks suck. It's not even the regular season yet, but they have a losing preseason record. They suck.

Although neither the Devils nor the Nets suck, I'm not really a fan of either team. Also, they are the New Jersey Devils and the New Jersey Nets. I'm still a New Yorker at heart.*

Okay, the Islanders don't suck either. But I don't care. Never cared for the Islanders.

*Yes, I know that the New York Giants play in New Jersey, but they still call themselves the New York Giants. Perception is reality.

Cold Comfort

Well, I was right about the World Series going to six games. Unfortunately not the way I wanted it to. It is hard to win when you can't get a hit. Oh well. At least they didn't lose to the Red Sox. The 1918 jeer lives on!

Hopefully the Yankees will use the post-season to (1) do something about their bullpen, (2) get some hitting in the bottom of the rotation, and (3) make sure that they keep Andy Pettitte and get good replacements for Roger Clemens and potentially David Wells.

Someone to Watch Over Me

I just paid $22.10, including shipping and handling, for the following 5 vintage watches. Only the pendant works, but I was wanting a pendant watch anyway, since I hate wearing watches on my wrist. I may try to get one or more of the bracelet watches functional again, though, depending on the cost.

Today's Moment of Duh

Yes, after last night's game, I hope the bet I mentioned here is wrong. Now thank me for being Captain Obvious.

Godzilla!

My brother has officially allowed me to make fun of him (not that I might not have anyway) tonight. See, in this post I say that I think Torre should take Williams out of clean-up, since he's not hitting for power, and put Matsui, who is, there instead. My brother informs me why he thinks not. And yet tonight? Yes, Torre is batting Matsui at clean-up. Oh yeah.

Men

Dean Esmay is asking women and gay men what about men annoys us/them. My answer?

I can't say that men particularly piss me off. People in general piss me off, although some specific men and women piss me off on a more personal level. The world would be a much better place if everyone would just act the way I want them to.

Believe it or not, this is true. Although there are times I get frustrated and hyperbolically claim that I hate men, this is always in reaction to a specific man pissing me off and my being completely irrational in applying my frustration broadly. Which I recognize when I'm doing it, and the statement is always tongue-in-cheek.

It is also true that people, in general, piss me off. I have taken the Myers-Briggs test several times over the years, always to come up with the same result - INTP (Introverted Intuitive Thinker Perceiver). But recently a group of people, myself included, took the test as part of a team-building exercise. For the first time I had a scale describing where along the spectrum of each of those characteristics I fell. I was most strongly an introvert, scoring at 51 out of a possible 60 on that end of the spectrum. So, yes, people pretty much bug me.

And it would be a better world if everyone acted the way I want them to, so hop to it! If in doubt, ask.

Blogger's Block

I'm suffering from Blogger's Block right now. I'm trying to think about what to blog about and having just no luck.

I don't really want to blog about the fact that Mikey's approval ratings are now 42% (although 75% of voters still don't want him re-elected). Where's the fun in that for me?

I don't want to blog about the Yankees' loss. I still hate Jeff Weaver. Although my bet was always that this would go to 6 games, so I'm not wrong. Yet.

So for now, go enjoy other bloggers over at this week's Carnival of the Vanities hosted by Eric Berlin.

Nobody Will Ever Play Baseball

In honor of the World Series, I've transcribed one of my favorite Bob Newhart stand-up routines entitled "Nobody Will Ever Play Baseball". Enjoy.

I got thinking about baseball, and how games are marketed today. You know, you go to a game manufacturer, and they figure everything out. And decide whether the game is right for the public or not, and then they market it. And it got me to thinking supposing Abner Doubleday had called one of the game manufacturers with this new invention of his called baseball. Now I think a phone conversation would have taken place something like this.

Hel..Hello, Olympic Games. What can I do for you, Mr. Doubleday?

You've got a game. How many couples?

18 people? That's a helluva lot of people.

Well the ideal game is, I mean, 2-3 couples. You know, come over to the house, they get a little smashed, and you know.

You can't play it in the house either? You see, you've got two things right there against you.

All right, all right. Tell me about it.

You got 9 guys on each side. Yeah.

You got a pitcher and a catcher. They throw this ball back and forth. That's all there is to it?

All right. A guy from the other side stands between them. With a bat. I see. And he just watches them?

Oh, I see. He swings at it?

He may or he may not swing at it. Depending on what?

"If it looked like it were a ball." Uh, what's a ball, Mr. Doubleday?

You've got this plate. Uh-huh.

And as long as it's above the knees but below the shoulders, it... No, no, go ahead, I'm listening... it's a strike. 3 strikes and you're out, and 3 balls...

Not 3 balls, 4 balls. Why 4 balls, Mr. Doubleday?

Nobody's ever asked you before.

Or he may hit it? If he hits it, what happens?

He runs as far as he can, before somebody catches it. As long as it stays what?

As long as it stays fair. And what's fair, Mr. Doubleday?

You've got these two white lines? Is this a rib? Is this one of the guys in the office? Who is this?

Mr. Doubleday, that's the most complicated game I've ever heard in my life. Forget it. Right. Mr. Doubleday, listen, though. You come up with anything 2-3 couples, you be sure and let us know.

All right, Mr. Doubleday. I'll be talking with you.

Today's Moment of Duh

The first sentence of a caption from a slide show about the New York Cat Show (emphasis mine).

The Norwegian Forest Cat originated in Norway. It is a hardy, cat with a thick coat, well-equipped to survive the Scandanavian winters. These cats have almond-shaped eyes and are found in most colors and patterns.

Tomorrow we'll probably learn that the Siamese originated in Thailand (f/k/a Siam).

10 Worst Movies I've Ever Seen

I watched a movie yesterday that got me thinking about the worst movies I've ever seen. This movie was so bad that, in fact, I believe it is the worst movie I've ever seen, so it gets the dubious honor of topping the list. The rest are in no particular order.

1. Feardotcom. The plot is disjointed. The acting is terrible. Even the usually fantastic Stephen Rea is bad in this clunker. A website that kills you 48 hours after you visit it. Do yourself a favor. If the description intrigues you, rent The Ring instead. Even better, rent the original Japanese version, Ringu. Ringu is scary. Feardotcom is just grotesque.

2. The Smokers. The premise of this movie, three private school girls sick of being treated badly by men decide to turn the tables, could have worked. It could have worked if it had been a satire. As a drama, it was just stupid. You couldn't relate to the protagonists. In a satire, you would know you were supposed to be detached from them. In a drama, you have to be involved in their story to care. All I kept thinking was these girls seriously needed therapy.

3. Spawn. John Leguizamo playing a foul-mouthed clown from hell who resembles a beach ball. "Nuff said.

4. Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within. The animation was great. The plot wasn't. Could they have hit you over the head more with the socially conscious themes? I think not. It's not good when an animated feature takes itself too seriously.

5. American Psycho 2. The first thing that should have given it away was the words "straight to video". Sadly it was on cable, so I didn't know. American Psycho was a gory movie, but it was a fantastically dark satire about the greed and commercialism of the 80s. The scene with the business cards was perfect. The sequel was not fantastic, dark, or a satire. It was just bad. The main character wasn't interesting. William Shatner was not at all believable as a brilliant FBI profiler. The only thing that made the movie even slightly bearable was Geraint Wyn Davies.

6. Dungeons and Dragons. Jeremy Irons, whom I normally love, was awful as the evil wizard Profion. And he was the best actor in the movie. The plot was completely unbelievable. Why did the Council believe that Savina was unfit to rule? Flimsy at best. Make it go away.

7. The Wedding Planner. J. Lo and Matthew McConaughey. She was annoying. He was a jerk. Who cared about them falling in love?

8. Corpse Grinders. Soylent green cat food turns kitty into a flesh-craving monster. Sure, it could have been a great satire on corporate culture, but it was just dumb. And not at all scary.

9. Flash Gordon. Not even a cool soundtrack by Queen, Max von Sydow, Brian Blessed, and Timothy Dalton could save this from the overwhelmingly horrible performances of Sam Jones and Melody Anderson. It's a bad sign when you're rooting for Ming the Merciless to kill Flash.

10. Masters of the Universe. Speaking of rooting for villains to kill heroes, I was hoping Skeletor would kill He-Man just to put us out of his misery. Where did anyone get the idea that Dolph Lundgren could act? Even worse was having the action take place both in Eternia and Earth. It might have been bearable if Dolph Lundgren had only to interact with other cartoonish characters in Eternia, but to have him interact with kids on Earth just pointed up how cartoonish he really was.

iTunes Rocks

I stand by what I said here regarding Apple's poor marketing ability. Nonetheless, their technology is great. Although I already had MusicMatch, given that I also have an iPod and had seen how seamlessly iTunes integrates with the iPod from a friend who had both, I decided to give iTunes a whirl. First, the software was free, so there wasn't a lot of risk. Second, I wanted to try the much vaunted iTunes Music Store, where I could download items a la carte for 99 cents each.

I was able to find most of the stuff I was looking for tonight. I downloaded Black Uhuru's "Black Uhuru Anthem", Harry Belafonte's "Man Smart (Woman Smarter)", Ella Fitzgerald's version of "Blue Skies", Judy Collins singing "Marieke", an entire folk album by John Renbourn, and Monty Python's "Live at City Center". Pretty decent variety. Oddly, though, they have virtually no Beatles songs. Plenty of Rolling Stones and David Bowie, but no Beatles. I hope they plan on rectifying that within short order.

The interface is better than MusicMatch too. Everything is available from the main screen if you so choose. You can show just the library, but if you also elect to show the browser, you can access any genre, any artist, or any album without having to switch views. All your playlists are on the left menu for easy switching. It shows you what songs you've recently played and the top 25 songs you've played most often. It also allows you to rate songs, look at your top-rated songs, and create playlists on the basis of your ratings.

The integration with the iPod is better than the MusicMatch integration. Rather than having to open a separate window and wait forever before it recognizes the iPod, iTunes allows you to navigate within the same interface and recognizes the iPod immediately. Of course this means nothing to you if you don't own an iPod. Although if you don't, why the hell not? Unless you're not a music fan. If you are and want your music portable, the iPod is fabby. And I'm working with one of the old, thicker models. I hear the new ones are even better.

Aside from the little weirdness regarding Beatles songs, all in all iTunes is great, and iTunes with iPod is truly fantastic. Give it a shot. What have you got to lose?

Andy!

Some people, who shall remain nameless but just might happen to be my brother, didn't have great faith in Andy's ability to pitch well tonight. Fortunately Andy showed them up with a 6-1 victory over the Marlins. Andy pitched 8 2/3 shutout innings, and had Aaron Boone not dropped that damn ball that Cabrera hit, Andy probably would have pitched a complete shutout game.

Also good news was that the Yankee bats finally came to life. Giambi was hit by a pitch in the first, after which Bernie hit a single, and Matsui came up and hit a homerun. Although Matsui has been hitting regularly in the postseason. In the second inning, Juan Rivera hit a double, which allowed Nick Johnson to score. In the 4th, Soriana hit a homerun, which allowed Johnson (who 3 for 4) to score again. The only Yankee who didn't get a hit at all was Jorge Posada.

Hideki Matsui is quickly becoming my favorite Yankee. He can field. He can hit. What's not to like? Although he doesn't match my former favorite Yankee on the looks scale. Tino, Tino, Tino. Well, there's always the very cute Mike Mussina.

Layout Questions

Okay, two people have told me today that they like the new layout better than the old one. Forget the Yankees logo. That goes after the World Series. It makes no sense to have it up for most of the year. And I categorically refuse to make the layout either New York Giants or New York Knicks related, because they both suck. But what do others think about the colors? Better? Worse? Indifferent? I'm curious, so please let me know.

No Takers

A disgruntled Red Sox fan put Grady Little up for auction on ebay.

You just saw it happen, the Yankees thrilling victory over the Boston Red Sox in extra innings. Now, and one time only, get your official piece of memorabilia from the 2003 ALCS. That's right, you can now own Grady Little. Watch as he takes your team within five outs of the World Series, and then proceeds to squander it away. He will make all the memorable Little mistakes, leaving your starting pitcher who is clearly laboring in to give up 4 runs, or leave in your knuckle-baller, who clearly doesn't have his stuff, and lets him groove a floater to a slumping Aaron Boone. All this and more goes to the lucky winning bidder.

Seller's payment instructions:
for a limited time only, if the buyer pays the shipping for Grady Little, not only will you receive Grady Little, but you will also get Dusty Baker. That's two great managers both fully capable of bringing your team to within 5 outs of the world series and dashing your hearts. Act now!

History Repeats Itself (So Far)

What do the ALDS, ALCS, and World Series have in common? The Yankees dropped the first game of each. Last night's 3-2 loss to the Marlins didn't surprise me terribly. Wells was pitching off only 3 days rest. Pettitte will only be pitching off 3 days rest tonight too, but he's 9 years younger than Wells. He also was shaky his last outing, which will hopefully drive him to perform tonight.

I don't understand why Torre put Soriano back in the leadoff spot last night. He wisely left Giambi batting 7th. Why did he move Soriano back up? What you want in a leadoff hitter is someone who gets on base. Regularly. That does not describe Soriano. I don't care how many leadoff homeruns he's had. That's nice, but I'd rather have a batter who draws walks and hits singles regularly to pave the way for Derek Jeter. As much as I didn't like Knoblauch, that is why he was such a good leadoff man. He didn't hit for power, but he got on base.

And why is Williams still batting clean-up? He's not hitting for power these days. Yeah, he hit one homerun last night. His first of the post-season. I doubt he's going to repeat. Why not put Matsui there? That man is hitting a helluva lot of doubles.

Well, tonight's another game. I'm not making any predictions. If this year's ALCS and NLCS taught us anything, it is the truth of Yogi Berra's old adage - "It ain't over till it's over." That and the fact that the Cubs and Red Sox can be counted on to let their fans down consistently.

Go Yankees!

The Vast Yankees Conspiracy

Round and about the blogosphere, I've seen a few comments blaming George Steinbrenner for the Red Sox's loss in the ALCS. Not directly, but through such comments as "Looks like outbidding the Reds for Aaron Boone paid off." Or "Joe Torre had nothing to do with the win; it's George Steinbrenner's buying players from other teams." As if Steinbrenner had anything to do with Grady Little's allowing Pedro to pitch to Matsui and then Posada. Or the fact that Nomar couldn't produce a hit until Game 6. Or that the A.L. batting champ suddenly looked like a mediocre hitter.

It is patently absurd to believe that Steinbrenner had something to do with the Red Sox's loss. That is just fantasy. George wasn't using his big bucks to pay Grady Little to make bad managerial decisions. He wasn't bribing Nomar and Bill Mueller to hit like crap. No, he was not. That was, in fact, me. Yes, I harnessed the enormous resources of the Vast Center Wing Conspiracy to prevent the Red Sox from winning, à la Cigarette Smoking Man and the Buffalo Bills (hard-core X-Philes will get the reference). What we have here is a Vast Yankees Conspiracy. So in recognition of my fessing up, for the duration of the World Series, this site will have a Yankees theme. After that, it will revert back to its normal look.

Oh, and one more thing to all those "he buys championships" folks.

Derek Jeter
Mariano Rivera
Alfonso Soriano (even if he couldn't get a hit in the post-season to save his life)
Jorge Posada
Andy Pettitte
Bernie Williams
Nick Johnson

Executive Privilege

Although this won't do his credit card business any good, I have to have a little respect for Barclays chief executive Matt Barrett for speaking the truth.

Mr Barrett conceded that credit cards were an expensive way of borrowing and they were not recommended for what he called chronic borrowing. He then went on to declare: "I don't borrow on credit card because it is too expensive." He added that he had given his children some advice: "Don't get too much debt on a credit card."

He's absolutely right. Credit cards, with their high rates of interest, are no way to fund long-term debt. Let's suppose you have $5,000 on your credit card and are paying Barclays their 18% interest per year compounded monthly. If you pay the Barclays' minimum balance of 3% per month, it will take you 226 months to pay off your credit card, and you will have paid $4,799.06 in interest. If you could get a home equity loan at a rate of 7% (the prevailing rate in the UK) and used the same payment schedule, it would take you only 148 months to pay off the balance, and you would have only paid $1,164.83 in interest.

Suppose you don't own your home, so you go to a bank and get a 5 year loan for $5,000 with an interest rate of 8%. Your monthly payment would be $101.38, although it wouldn't decline each month as a credit card monthly minimum would. You would then pay off the loan during the 60 month time period, having paid only $913.17 in interest. If you wanted to pay a constant $101.38 each month to Barclays at the 18% interest rate, it would take you 91 months to pay off the same principal, and you would have paid $4,167.25 in interest. Maintaining long-term debt on your credit card simply doesn't make financial sense. You should keep your long-term balance as low as possible.

The reason I have only a little respect for Mr. Barrett is that his company encourages people to do precisely what he advises against, and despite the fact that UK interest rates have fallen 2/3 since 1992 to 3.5%, Barclays' credit card rate has dropped less than 1/3. Caveat emptor, but I don't have to have tremendous respect for Barclays or Mr. Barrett. Just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should.

Premature Articulation

``The Cubs were America's favorite. I think we're the darlings of the baseball world now,'' Marlins manager Jack McKeon said

Had McKeon waited until this morning to utter those words, he'd probably have been right. But he said it after the Marlins beat the Cubs in Game 7 of the NLCS. At that point, the Marlins probably came close to being as hated as the Yankees. Everyone, except the 10 Marlins fans, wanted the Cubs to win. Nobody liked the Marlins for beating them.

Had the Red Sox beaten the Yankees last night, the Marlins still wouldn't be the darlings of the baseball world. Because everybody, except the 10 Marlins fans and hundreds of thousand of Yankees fans, would want the Red Sox to win.

Today, though, the Marlins probably are the darlings of the baseball world. Because everybody, but the hundreds of thousands of Yankees fans, want the Yankees to lose. And the Marlins are their only hope.

Sadly, Jack, you're not loved today on your own merits. Face it. Nobody really cares about the Marlins. You're only loved today because of the Yankees (de)merits. As a Yankees fan, that just makes me laugh.

Conspiracy Theory

I guess you can start a conspiracy theory about anything. Maybe the theory would be that Dusty Baker is secretly on the take from the Marlins, so he threw Games 6 and 7 by leaving in Prior and Wood too long. Because it couldn't just be that he made the same stupid mistake he's made before. There was some conspiracy to cause the Cubs to lose to the Marlins.

I know! Cigarette Smoking Man is to blame. After all, it was his doing that prevented the Bills from winning a Super Bowl in the 1990s.

Outsiders

Fans of teams other than the Yankees and the Red Sox clearly do not understand the rivalry. They don't understand the fun of taunting fans of the other team. They don't understand the joy of trash-talking each other. Are fans of the Yankees classless towards Boston fans when the Yankees win? You betcha. And the fans of the Red Sox are just as classless towards Yankees fans when Boston wins.

I was talking with a guy at work who is a Red Sox fan. We get along great, except that we like to trash talk each other's team. I was saying how much I hate the Braves, a sentiment he agreed with. He then asked me if I hated the Braves more than I hated the Red Sox. I told him no way that could ever happen. Understanding the rivalry, he was relieved to hear it. He said "Good, because I'd be offended if you did." Just as I'd be offended to learn that a Red Sox fan hated some other team more than he/she hated the Yankees. It's just not right.

Then there's the whole Northeastern thing. New Yorkers and Bostonians have that in common. What does that mean? It means we're all about sarcasm. No fluffy bunnies for us. No pretense. I know the rest of the country doesn't get it. You think people are supposed to be polite to each other. Diehard Northeasterners know better. If we started being polite to each other, we'd get suspicious.

So Red Sox fans will continue to come to Yankee Stadium and chant "Yankees suck!" And Yankees fans will continue to chant "1918" right back at them. We wouldn't have it any other way*.

*Okay, Red Sox fans would have it such that Yankees fans were forced to find some other way to jeer at them besides the "1918" chant. But the principle remains.

This One Goes Out To...

...my friends who are Red Sox fans. Ignore the post below. That was not directed at you. To you I say this.

That was one helluva game. It was one helluva series. The Red Sox played phenomenally. Wakefield was just on for two games. Sadly Derek Lowe wasn't. But then on our side, Mussina was off in Game 1 and Pettitte was off in Game 6. We will not discuss Roger's performance last night. Well, you can, but I freely admit that he stank. He was too hyped up, and you know as well as we do what he's like when he's over-hyped.

Pedro had some excellent stuff last night, too, through seven innings. Had Grady Little actually pulled him when he should have, which was before Matsui came up, who knows what would have happened? I was never sanguine that we would win this pennant.

Manny Ramirez, Trot Nixon, Todd Walker. I cringed every time one of them came to bat. I understand the frustration of seeing Nomar not produce for 5 games. Think Soriano and Giambi. Yes, I understand it well.

You have a great team. Your lineup is deep. Your fielding is excellent. You have two great starters and a good bullpen. You are a worthy adversary. In any other division, you probably would have finished first. And one of these years, probably in the not-too-distant future, you will finish first in the A.L. East.

Here's to the rivalry! Long may we trash-talk each other.

Yankees Win!

Right now, Aaron Boone is my favorite Yankee! And Mo - You're the man! The man! I'm guessing MVP, baby, MVP.

And to all the Red Sox fans who told me that Pedro wouldn't lose twice, well, you were right. He got a no decision. But you also told me it was over before it was over. And for that I have one thing to say to you: 1918.

UPDATE: Indeed, Mo is the ALCS MVP. Gotta go to Mo!

Baseball Has Not Been Bery Good to Me

In fact, it's exhausting me. Last night Yankees/Red Sox game was exciting, as will be tonight's. But it drained me watching it. So much so that I decided not to watch the Cubs/Marlins game. Which, as it turns out, was a good thing. Since I didn't see the game, I can't be sure, but I feel comfortable in saying that the Cubs beat themselves out of a trip to the World Series. Maybe not last night, but certainly Tuesday night. I only hope that the Red Sox psych themselves out of it tonight.

That poor fan will now be eternally blamed by some morons for having cost the Cubs their shot at the World Series. Sure no runs scored because of his catching that foul ball. But in the eyes of some it's his fault that the Cubs then managed to give up 8 runs in one inning. Scapegoating at its finest. He will now join the likes of Bill Buckner as wrongly held responsible for costing a team a series. Hopefully Chicago will be kinder to him than Boston is to Bill Buckner, who was the recipient of many death threats.

On the upside, if the Yankees should manage to beat Pedro twice, I won't be at all conflicted during the World Series. I could care less about the Marlins. However, if the Red Sox get to the World Series, go Marlins!

Huh?

You fall asleep with the Cubs up 3-0 going into the 8th. You wake up to find they lost 8-3. I actually did TiVo the game. Do I want to go back and watch that 8th inning? Or was it just too horrifying for words? If the Cubs lose, will that fan be able to live in Chicago safely? I hope Wood can beat Redman tomorrow, but who knows? I was sure Prior could beat Pavano easily.

The Yankees/Red Sox game was a really good game to watch. David Wells pitched a great game. With the exception of that 2nd inning, so did Derek Lowe. When Manny Ramirez hit that solo shot in the 4th, I got tense. A 2-run game is not a safe game. I was happy when Matsui got the RBI in the 8th to make it a 3-run game again. Then Mo came out and had a little trouble in the 8th, allowing a run, and my heart leapt to my throat. Flashbacks to Game 7 of the 2001 World Series. Hopefully that 8th will be his one weak inning of the post-season. He certainly dominated the 9th. But overall, that's the kind of game you like to see in the post-season. A really even match-up where it could go either way.

I hope the Yankees can wrap it up tomorrow, with Burkett pitching against Pettitte. I would hate to have the ALCS go to another Martinez/Clemens match-up.

Why Bill Gates is a Better Businessman than Steve Jobs

Gates understands the concept of first-mover advantage and wouldn't be either so naive or arrogant to believe that a music-buying service would be "the thing" to get people to switch from Windows to Mac. Apple is finally introducing its iTunes for Windows online music store, months after it introduced the iTunes for Mac one. However in the interim, several competitors to iTunes have already gotten into the Windows market. This was thoroughly predictable, and there was nothing about Apple's technology that makes a fairly pricey technology switch worth it for the vast majority of consumers. Since the iPod for Windows works with MusicMatch, and MusicMatch will support any mp3 file purchased, Jobs doesn't even have that hook to fall back on.

Apple has great technology. Better technology than Microsoft. They package it beautifully. They just don't know how to market it. Fortunately iTunes won't make or break anyone, but it is another lost revenue opportunity.

About Last Night

Sad. Truly sad. The Yankees had multiple opportunities to score runs and fluffed all but the 1st. Jason Giambi is useless. The only thing he can do well is hit, and he can't even do that this year. Although it wasn't all his fault. The rest of the team wasn't capitalizing on scoring opportunities either. Ah well, tonight's another game.

Oh and Go Cubbies!

What the Hell Did They Think Would Happen?

I'm sorry, but sometimes a reaction to a product is so obvious that the store should foresee it. Like with this Monolopolyesque game Ghettopoly.

The game replicates Monopoly but replaces the game pieces with "ghetto" characters including "playas," crack houses and pimps.

In a news release promoting the game's release, the objective is described.

"If a playa owns all the stolen property in da same color pattern, da playa can buy crack houses from da Loan Shark and set 'em up on da property," it reads. "If da playa has four crack houses on each of the stolen properties of da same color pattern, he can buy projects from da Loan Shark."

Yeah, it takes a genius to figure out that this game, using racist stereotypes, is going to cause outrage. Whatever useless M.B.A.s* in their marketing department decided stocking this would be a good idea should be axed. Leading me, yet again, to ponder when we might break down and impose criminal charges on monumental stupidity.

*Yes, I do have an M.B.A. I maintain it is a degree useful only for making your resume look good and helping you find jobs. In other words, it is useful to me individually, but not so much to my job.

King of the Road

Yesterday night I finally finished my quest to read all the Stephen King novels peripherally related to the Dark Tower Series. Those books would be:

• The Stand


• The Talisman (written with Peter Straub)


• Black House (written with Peter Straub)


• Salem's Lot


• Insomnia


• The Eyes of the Dragon


• Two short stories from Everything's Eventual: "The Little Sisters of Eluria" and "Everything's Eventual"


• One short story from Hearts In Atlantis: "Low Men in Yellow Coats"

This sets me up for the fifth Dark Tower book, Wolves of the Calla, slated to be published November 4th. I really enjoyed Salems Lot, which surprised me. For some reason I didn't expect a Stephen King book about vampires to be all that good, given that I am a huge fan of Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles. Nevertheless, although the book was completely different, I still enjoyed it a lot. If anyone is planning on reading the last three Dark Tower novels, I recommend going ahead and reading all the peripheral books you haven't yet read. It's fun, and you'll see the Crimson King and Randall Flagg show up a few times, as well as some tantalizing mentions of Roland and his trio of gunslingers.

But while waiting for Wolves of the Calla to be published, I have broken down and bought Brian Herbert and Kevin Anderson's fourth Dune book, The Butlerian Jihad, curse them both. I love the Dune Series. Okay, specifically I love the books Frank Herbert wrote in the Dune Series. I could tell that he was building up to some great reveal at the end of the sixth Dune book, Chapterhouse Dune, but sadly he died prior to completing the seventh.

When I read that his son had found extensive notes regarding Herbert's plans for the seventh book and was planning on collaborating with Kevin Anderson to write it, I was ecstatic. Finally all the pieces would be brought together, although, the two had decided to go back and do a little pre-history first, and so were writing three books that took place shortly before Dune. I dutifully read those three novels, expecting the last novel to be shortly forthcoming.

Alas, no. They decided to go even further back in history to the time of the Butlerian jihad discussed in the Dune series and write three novels about that. At first I was boycotting, but running out of books to read, I relented. I started The Butlerian Jihad last night, and so far am finding it a relatively decent read (more than I can say for the last two books they wrote). I suppose now I'll have to read the next two (but I'm waiting for paperback). After that they better write that final novel, though, or I'll be way pissed off.

Moving Off Baseball For a Moment

Have I mentioned recently that the Giants suck? And in under 3 weeks I'll be getting to say how much the Knicks suck too.

One Fine Day

Michele points out a news item about Pedro Martinez, Manny Ramirez, Don Zimmer, and Karim Garcia being fined. I'm not clear precisely how Jeff Nelson escaped being fined, unless Garcia was being fined for the slide he took at Todd Walker, and the bullpen incident will be treated separately, perhaps as a criminal case.

Better Luck Tuesday

Sadly, the Cubs lost to the Marlins, so the NLCS goes back to Chicago for Game 5. On the upside, I gave myself a pedicure while watching the game.

Now it's time to watch what should be an interesting Yankees-Red Sox game, given the events of yesterday. I will be eating Indian food while watching it and, since I leave the games on mute to avoid being annoyed by McCarver and Buck, I will listen to Indian music as well. I just got the soundtrack from "Bollywood/Hollywood"*, a movie I highly recommend, if only to see Ranjit Chowdhry portray a chauffeur/Indian drag queen. His part is small, but the scene of him performing in drag is fabulously funny.

UPDATE: Apparently I will not be watching the Yankees-Red Sox game while eating Indian food, since the game was rained out. I will still be eating the Indian food, though.

*Special note for Dietz: I am about to embark on a whole Bollywood thing, so you might want to avoid those in your Name That Movie game too. Today I watched "Bhaji on the Beach", although that is really a British film, not Bollywood. I am renting "Aa Ab Laut Chalen", "Taal", and "Dil Chahta Hai" shortly, and am TiVoing Deepa Mehta's "Fire", which I plan to follow up with her "Earth" shortly. I've also seen "Kama Sutra: A Tale of Love".

Beauty Tip

I had my first cut and color in Hoboken yesterday, and I found a great stylist. This guy is amazing at mixing color. He also gave me a fabby tip which I tried out and will share with other women. You know how when you wake up and your hair is still clean, but then you put on a shower cap, hop under the water, and when you're done, it feels tacky? Well, he told me that if you wrap a towel around your head and then put on a shower cap, that keeps the humidity from your hair, so it won't get that tacky feel. I am pleased to announce that he's right.

Disclaimer: If your hair is very oily, this probably won't work for you. But if your hair is normal to dry and is getting dried out and damaged from being washed every day, then give it a shot.

Comment Spammers Begone

Get gone. Anyone trying to use my blog to blatantly advertise will have their comments deleted and their IP addresses banned. Especially anyone trying to advertise porn sites purporting to show preteens. You, especially, disgust me. If that continues, I will report your IP addresses to your ISP as being spammers. I'm pretty sure you've spoofed your IP address on the comments, but I'm equally sure that you can't hide it from the SiteMeter and that I know what the origin IP address is. Can you say Comcast is your ISP?

A Bad Day for Baseball

As much as I think that Pedro should have been ejected for throwing Zim to the ground (and Zim should have been ejected for coming after Pedro in the first place), this is worse.

Williams had cleat marks on his back and his arm, and he may have been kicked in the mouth, Steinberg said.

Williams was the groundskeeper in the middle of the fracas in the Yankees bullpen in the 9th. He may have been stupid, but that does not warrant getting the shit kicked out of him. Nelson and Garcia should face charges.

Yay!

Cubs win! Cubs win!

I saw a great sign in the stands: "Win it all this year. Then we can relax until 2098."

And that Yankees-Red Sox game had to be one of the most bizarre post-season games I've ever watched. First Pedro hits Karim Garcia and gestures to the Yankees dugout that he's going to hit someone else in the head. Then Manny Ramirez decides to get all tough guy about a pitch that wasn't even close to hitting him, which caused the benches to clear. Zim goes after Pedro, and Pedro, rather than stepping aside, grabs Zim's head and throws him to the ground. Then in the 9th, a Fenway groundskeeper jumps into the Yankees bullpen, and Garcia jumps into the fray and gets his hand cut, forcing him out of the game. I have no clue what he was thinking. There were cops all over it. Why didn't he just stay out of it?

I give Clemens credit for managing to keep his temper (for once) and not get rattled and start pitching wild. Well, tomorrow is another game.

Paperback Writer

Apparently, the book industry had expected e-books to take off. They have now faced the fact that was apparent to most readers - e-books are not going to replace paper books anytime soon. My take on the reasons why.

• Books don't have batteries that run out in the middle of a really engrossing chapter.


• It's easier to read the type in a paper book than the type on a small LCD screen.


• You can curl up with a book, but not your computer monitor or laptop.


• Standards, standards, standards. Be they hardcover or paperback, books don't require you to have different types of technology to read different books. You only require your eyes and hands. e-Books came in competing formats, so you weren't guaranteed that you could read a given book on the format you owned.


• There's just something about the smell of a new book.

For the foreseeable future, books are here to stay.

A Mystery Solved

A few days ago, Jim asked me why anyone would call a substance six times as powerful as heroin* (OxyContin) "hillbilly heroin." He wanted to know why it wasn't called "hardcore heroin". My immediate response was "Because one is a bigot?" I mean, really, because why "hillbilly"? Why not "rural", which I presumed (as it turns out correctly) was what the term really referred to? I didn't know the answer to the question, but a Newsday article reveals it.

"Mainly it's abused in areas that don't have ready access to heroin," said Dr. Herbert D. Kleber, a professor of psychiatry and director of the division of substance abuse at Columbia University in Manhattan. "We don't see much OxyContin abuse in New York City. You see it in really rural areas, anywhere from Maine to West Virginia."

*I don't know the validity of this claim; it was simply the question that Jim asked me. I have no idea how powerful OxyContin is compared to heroin.