Plum Crazy

Over at a Quick Links post at Balloon Juice, a commenter says the following about Barack Obama:

Saw Obama on MTP today. He is remarkably well-spoken. An Obama campaign would be a feast for the ears, regardless of anyone's political views.

Someone calls him on that. Said commenter responds:

Did I say that? No, I just said that he was well-spoken. Don't project your own racial prejudices on me.

Shorter version: I didn't mean it that way.

Short answer: That doesn't matter.

Long answer: Given the freighted meaning of those words when applied to a person of color, it doesn't matter whether you "meant it that way' or not. I'm even going to give this guy the benefit of the doubt that he really didn't mean it that way and that he just didn't think about it. Still, that is how it will read to most people of color. With good reason.

Just not thinking about it is still a problem. It's a manifestation of the fact that you don't HAVE to think about it. People of color don't have that option, that benefit. Having spent their lives subjected to prejudice, they do have to think about it. Those of us with the privilege not to need to be aware of the reality of those without that privilege. We need to think about the things we say and do in that context, not in our privileged context. The world doesn't actually revolve around us and operate the same way for everyone else.

When we do say something that is fraught with meaning and get called out on it, we have a tendency to get defensive. We don't want to think that we're bad people, so we often twist the claim around to place the problem on the heads of those who made it. We need to stop that. If someone without our privilege tells us that we've done something hurtful, we need to listen and take that seriously. We're not necessarily being told that we're a bad person. We're being told that we did a bad thing. That's not the same. So stop, listen, consider the impact of our words and actions on others.

As for any "crusaders" who rail about the "evils" of "PC speech", get off it already. You're not James Madison, Thomas Paine, or Thomas Jefferson fighting the scourge of tyranny with your words. Really. You aren't. You aren't being censored. No one's going to throw you in jail or exile you for your speech; a threat and reality that was faced by the men mentioned above. In fact, no one's asking you to do a damn thing you don't already do on a smaller scale.

Think I'm wrong? Do you never watch what you say in front of friends? If you know something will upset your friend, do you not most often stop yourself from saying or doing it? The vast majority of us do. If your friend tells you that something you said or did upset them, don't you listen to them and take them seriously? Again, the vast majority of us do. That's what you do for your friends. If you don't, you're really not much of a friend.

If you can't be bothered to consider the impact of your words and actions on someone else; if you can't be bothered to take them seriously and address their concerns seriously when they tell you that something you did was hurtful, you can't truly expect them to believe that you actually give a damn about them. This extends beyond individuals.

Stop. Think. Listen. If needed, think again.