Plum Crazy

In which I confess my embarrassing love for the reality show "Rockstar: Supernova".

Let me make one thing clear right from the start. Supernova is a band I am destined to dislike. Consider the following:

Gilby Clarke. OK, so Gilby did some interesting things back in the day. The day meaning the time before he replaced Izzy Stradlin in Guns 'n Roses. But since then? Look, I never liked Guns 'n Roses, and that's the genre he seems most into these days. I wish he'd go back towards the punk genre he started in. He was so visibly excited when Dilana said she was going to sing a punk rock song. He clearly loves it. But it doesn't seem to be what he's performing these days. Therefore, strike one.

Tommy Lee. Ah, Motley Crue. Yep, never liked 'em. Tommy is a funny guy, but he's not getting paid to talk in Supernova. He's getting paid to make music, and I do not like his music. Strike two.

Jason Newsted. Dude, what are you thinking? You were in Metallica! You are metal. You are awesome. You do not belong with Gilby Clarke and Tommy Lee. This saddens me. However, since your last stint with a straight-up rock band lasted for, oh, about a year, I have doubts about how long you'll actually be able to stick this out. The metal. She is calling you. Heed the voice of your love. But you are not strike three. Not by a long shot.

Their original music. They've played a few songs now on the show, and I haven't liked one of them. I'm under no illusion that my taste in music is any predictor of mainstream success. No, I take that back. It may well be negatively correlated. If I don't like a band, it could be an indication of high potential for mainstream success. I'd have to run the numbers. Back to the point of this paragraph, though. I just don't like their music, and that, my few, my happy few readers, is strike three.

So, given that I will dislike Supernova, why do I watch this show? Why do I love this show? The good news is, I mostly don't have to listen to Supernova. I get to listen to some talented singers sing non-Supernova songs. And Dave Navarro. Dave Navarro scores high on my awesome meter. He's not Henry Rollins or Joey Ramone (sadly no one is Joey Ramone anymore), but he is up there. Look, I know some of you are going to point out that he wears mascara and nail polish. That his fashion choices can best be summed up as "satanesque". To which I reply: Your point? He's hot, deal. It's fair to say that devilish androgyny works for me. Back in my wayward youth, I totally crushed on the lead singer for Dead or Alive. Just thinking about how he looked back then... And Tim Curry in fishnets and a teddy..

But I digress. On Planet Lesley, Dave Navarro = hot + awesome = woo hoo! [Maths quiz for you all. If Dave Navarro = hot + awesome, what does Jason Newsted equal? Reread my paragraph on Jason to help you solve this equation. Answer below the jump.]

On to the performances themselves. Generally, I enjoy watching these. I'm not a fan of "American Idol", since it contains two things I don't like* - singers who can't sing and people singing Whitney Houston songs. Singers who can't sing singing Whitney Houston songs is a geometric progression of things I don't like. It becomes a thing I hate. "Rockstar: Supernova" is not like that. All the performers are professionals. They've recorded and performed regularly with their own bands. They've just never made it big. Further, they also (pretty much) sing rock songs. Not much pop. No country, or at least not country that is un-rocked up. No Broadway show tunes. No one's insisting they show their "range" in order to sing with a band that won't be performing, you know, pop, country, or Broadway show tunes. Just singers who can sing singing rock songs that I mostly like. This is A Good Thing.

Now that we're into the final week, let me address the remaining rockers. First, in one way I was sorry to see Storm go last week, as I think she's quite talented and has a good stage presence. On the other hand, she is not the right person to front those three guys. That is not an insult (see also my explanation of my destined dislike for Supernova).

Lukas. OK, see post below for my thoughts on Lukas. I just don't care for the guy. I know he's got hordes of screaming fans and, you know, fine. He's definitely got edge and a stage presence. But his musical stylings just don't work for me. If any rabid Lukas fans happen here, good on you. This is a personal preference. You're totally entitled to love the guy and think he's the greatest thing since the vibrator. I know you're out there, and I don't think you're nuts or stupid or anything insulting for it. So don't tell me on my blog how stupid or whatever you think I am. Go to one of your happy little message boards and tell the world about it. I don't think he'll win, but IMO, he's the second most likely to do so. The band reacts well to him.

Toby. Not my cup of tea. But he's got a good voice and people seem to react well to him. I think he's going to win this contest. He's a good time rocker, and Supernova is heading in that direction (again, see my destined dislike for this band). So, to quote Toby, "Evs".

Magni. Magni rocks. Love him. Love his musical choices. Great voice. Muted stage presence, though, so not right to front this band. If they ever do "Rockstar: Coldplay", though, he is totally their man. Or "Rockstar: Live", because if he shaved the goatee, he and Ed Kowalczyk would be like twins.

Dilana. Wow, I love her voice. She doesn't have the greatest range, I'll grant you, but neither does Mick Jagger, so what does that mean? No one's asking her to sing outside her range. She also has phenomenal stage presence. She really works well with the band, too. She is hands down my favorite of the rockers. For weeks, I thought, "She's the one." In many ways, I still think that. But her reaction to the disastrous press clinic kills her chances, IMO. She really freaked out afterwards. Unfortunately, if you're going to front a high-profile band, the media pressure is going to be enormous, and I don't think she can handle it. Most people couldn't, so that's not an insult. It does, however, have to be a big factor in deciding who you're going to put in that position.

In order of likelihood of winning, IMO: Toby, Lukas, Dilana, Magni. We'll find out on Wednesday if I have any grasp of Supernova "reality".

*If you are an "American Idol" fan, do not take that as an insult. My likes or dislikes are precisely that - mine - and are not intended to cast aspersion on those who disagree. Unless I explicitly state otherwise. In this case, I do not.