Plum Crazy

At the same time I was dating Jennifer, I had also been persuing another woman, Judy, whom I know from softball with the Appalachian Mountain Club. We had been out a couple of times after games and had dinner together one night. I felt all along that she liked me. She asked me out, proposing a tennis date, before I ever had to ask her out, and when she went to Alaska, she brought something back for me.

We were out together again yesterday. We went to the Bronx Zoo then had dinner and saw March of the Penguins. A nice day. On the subway ride up to the Bronx, she tells me about a trip she's taking to New Zealand next year and invites me along. We were then leafing through the AMC calendar, where we saw a listing for a weekend at their Mohican Outdoor Center over Labor Day. She said she would go with me. It was then, believe it or not, that I began to doubt her interest in me. I thought to myself that it can't be this easy and that maybe she thinks of me simply as someone to pal around with. So over dinner, I point blank asked her if we were on a date. She assured me that we were. Obviously, it is that easy.

I come by this lack of self confidence honestly. The reasons are too numerous to go into, but I have always been insecure around women. The question whether we were on a date comes from an experience I once had. I went on what I thought was a date, what any normal person would think is a date (especially since the woman in question knew of my interest in her from a friend), yet she didn't think of it as a date. That was her flaw, of course, but that experience plus the relative ease of how things are developing with Judy, left me doubting myself, as I always do. Something that I need to keep working on and develop the self confidence that would make life so much easier.