Plum Crazy

Hey, yo, it's me. You know, the one with the red Hyundai who had that sweet diagonal parking space. Yeah, you know the car I mean. The one you practically blocked from getting out because you don't know how to park. We're not even talking parallel parking here. Which I could sympathize with, because I suck at parallel parking. But even I can park in a straight garage space (without it taking me 20 minutes).

I can only guess you've never seen the movie "Spider-Man". Because if you had, you would know that with great power comes great responsibility. You have a big honking automobile. I don't begrudge you your big honking automobile. But if you're going to have one, learn how to park the damn thing. Pull it all the way up into the space. Besides, didn't your mother ever teach you that it's not polite to leave your ass hanging out? I think the same thing applies to your car's ass. Don't be waving that thing in front of my car's ass, making me squeeze out between your car and a column in order to avoid doing a little bump and grind with your SUV. That really wouldn't be good for either one of us.

Thanks for your kind attention to this matter.