I Figured It Out
I ask you, is it possible to have been in your 20s in the 1970s, lived in this country, and never have heard any of the following songs until yesterday? Not just like not having heard one of them. All five of them. Not just not knowing their names but listening to them and going "Oh yeah, I remember that song. Never having heard them at all.
- Ironman - Black Sabbath
- Paranoid - Black Sabbath
- Don't Fear the Reaper - Blue Oyster Cult
- Burnin' for You - Blue Oyster Cult
- Paradise by the Dashboard Light - Meatloaf
I think not. And yet this is what my friend Bruce expects me to believe. Well, I've seen his driver's license, so I know he was in his 20s in the 1970s. I've seen his music collection, so I know he listens to rock. Therefore, I am forced to doubt he was actually in this country in the 1970s. I figured it out. See, he was in the military and had some extra-special top-secret clearance. So, he was really a spy and was in deep cover in some other country. Maybe the Soviet Union. Whatever. But no way he was in this country throughout the 1970s.
Comments
Actually, I doubt he's been in this country at all if he's managed to make it all these years without hearing these songs. Ever. There is something extremely fishy going on.
Posted by: Jon | February 13, 2005 10:11 PM
Impossible.
Posted by: bruce | February 13, 2005 11:23 PM
I don't think they got much AM play. Maybe he was a top 40 kind of guy?
Still very hard to believe.
Posted by: Just John | February 14, 2005 01:10 AM
It stretches the imagination to the breaking point!
Posted by: Rick DeMent | February 14, 2005 08:13 AM
I was in my 20's during the 70's, and I was in this country for most of that time. Still, numbers 2 and 4 don't ring any bells. None. At all. If I ever heard them, they must not have been very memorable, to me anyway. There are probably thousands of songs I've heard over the years that I wouldn't recognize if I heard them again because, for whatever reason, they didn't make any impression on me the first time. Or the second. Or the fiftieth. Go figure.
Posted by: hnumpah | February 14, 2005 08:54 AM
Okay, but it gets worse. It turns out he's never heard Freebird either.
At least he knows Stairway to Heaven. Although he thought it was done by the Moody Blues... This being the same man who heard the guitar riff to Sunshine of Your Love and thought it was the Grateful Dead. The mind boggles!
Posted by: Lesley | February 14, 2005 09:38 AM
Yikes!!
One day in high school I brought an orange with me to a band practice, my friend John looks at me peeling it and asks "Are those any good?"
An orange!!
Posted by: bruce | February 14, 2005 05:04 PM
You just blew your friend Bruce's cover. The KGB is surely looking for him now.
On the other hand, he might know where to get really cheap caviar. Or vodka.
Posted by: Camilo | February 16, 2005 07:17 PM