The Undead Pool
With a nod to Lesley's entry in The Dead Pool, my selection of celebrities with such stunning personas that you might think they're already dead.
Paris Hilton – couldn’t find a more apt fitting name than "The Simple Life" for a show centered around her life.
Nancy Reagan – has always reminded me of a Stepford Wife.
Laura Bush – the Stepford Wife of her generation.
Larry Brown – great coach, but whenever he speaks, he seems to be on Lithium.
Jeff Van Gundy – a dedicated coach who is one of the tops of his profession, but the bags under his eyes seem to have bags. Also, the one sight that will always resonate is him on the floor during the infamous Knicks-Heats playoff brawl a few years back, clutching Alonzo Mourning’s leg for dear life.
Ray Liotta – hello, is there anyone home? The only role where he ever acted with a discernable pulse is when he played, fittingly enough, a dying alcoholic on an “ER” episode this year.
Ben Affleck – aside from Nancy Reagan and Laura Bush, could anyone be more plastic?
Jennifer Lopez – seems that the answer is, “Yes.” She and Ben should have stayed together. “I now pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. Plastic.”
Comments
Nancy Reagan, a Stepford wife? I recognize that all the face lifts have made her face look immobile, but someone who seeks political advice from psychics is hardly Stepford-like. I also think it's fairly well-known that she had a lot of behind-the-scenes influence on Ronald Reagan, something that also disqualifies her from being a Stepford wife.
I don't really think that Laura Bush is a Stepford wife either. She does not strike me as being vacuous.
Ray Liotta has only acted with a discernible pulse in one role, that of a dying alcoholic on E.R.? What about Goodfellas?
Posted by: Lesley | February 5, 2005 08:31 AM
Ray Liotta was as lifeless as ever in Goodfellas. The one perfect role for him was in "Unlawful Entry", in which he played an emotionally flat yet nuts cop. The role called for emotional distance, and that's what you got, as you do in all but the "ER" role.
As for Nancy and Laura, yeah, I am judging books by their cover. They may not be plastic, but they sure look that way.
Posted by: Jon | February 5, 2005 08:54 AM
Laura Bush comes across (to me) as a warm, caring, intelligent person. I'm baffled at your perception of her.
Posted by: david | February 6, 2005 06:45 PM
I am going solely by the pictures I've seen of her, where it always looks like no one is home. Having been corrected twice, it looks like I am wrong.
Posted by: Jon | February 6, 2005 08:48 PM