Plum Crazy

1. Tell Kevin Brown not to let the door hit him - or not to hit the door - on the way out.
2. Recognize that Javy Vazquez is Son of Jeff Weaver, Nephew of Jose Contreras, Younger Brother of Kenny Rogers, and Grandson of Ed Whitson. Swallow half his salary and peddle him to the Marlins in a three-team trade that sends Florida third baseman Mike Lowell elsewhere and prospects to the Yankees. One of the prospects should be major-league ready pitcher. I think Florida might bite because Lowell can opt out of his contract and they could apply his money to Vazquez's salary.
3. Shop Jorge Posada, Kenny Lofton, and either Paul Quantrill or Steve Karsay for more prospects, preferably pitchers.
4. Strike a double blow at the Red Sox by attempting to lure Jason Varitek away to replace Posada's switch-hitting bat and defense. Otherwise, Greg Myers of the Jays could be half of a lefty-righty platoon with John Flaherty.
5. Ink Carlos Beltran.
6. Ink as many free agent pitchers to bolster the rotation and bullpen as is feasible. Tops on the list is Carl Pavano of the Marlins. Also of interest is ageless lefty Wilson Alvarez, who could be a long man/spot starter, and Ramiro Mendoza.
7. Bring back E-save-an Loaiza on the cheap.

I can hear Chris "Mad Dog" Russo lambasting me now.