Plum Crazy

Tale 1: How High Can You Count?

Background: We asked the managers who provide resources to multiple applications projects (shared services managers) to estimate the number of resources for each project and communicate the number to the application project manager. We also gave them the guidance that employee headcount (or, as we call them, colleagues) could not increase year over year.

Conversation:

A: "What do I do if I don't have enough colleagues to meet the project demands?"

What I thought: "Figure something out. I'm not paid to do your job."

What I said: "Either allocate consultants or consider using offshore resources. Preferably the latter. Just tell the project manager how many of your resources you estimate they need to do the work and let them know if it's a colleague, a consultant, or offshore."

A: "I've got 15 colleagues in my group. How will I know when I've run out of colleagues to allocate to projects and will need to allocate a consultant?"

What I thought: "I guess you'll have to remove one of your shoes to count as high as 15."

What I said: "Well, you're the one telling the project managers how many of your resources they need. You'll know, if you allocate 1 here, 2 there, etc., when you reach 15."

A: "Oh, okay."

Tale 2: Which Part of Friday, Sept. 10th Didn't You Understand?

Background: At a presentation I made in front of all the application project managers and shared services managers last week, I told them we would be scheduling a meeting, to be called the Budget Gauntlet, in which the application project managers would let the shared services managers know what the estimated scope of next year's projects would be so the shared services managers could come up with resource estimates. I also announced that budgets, submitted in something we call a DCW (Detailed Costing Workbook), were due by end of day on Friday, Sept. 10th. Following please find an e-mail trail after I sent out the announcement with the meeting schedule.

E-mail 1:

Lesley XXX
09/02/2004 02:11 PM

To: A, B, C ... W
cc: X, Y, Z
Subject: The Budget Gauntlet

We've scheduled the Budget Gauntlet for Wednesday, Sept. 8th from 12 pm - 4 pm in Conf. Rm. 6E. Lunch and refreshments will be served. Mark this day in your calendars.

I'd like to start with the high-level overview of the strategic projects, with those program managers also presenting a high-level overview (allow me to stress the words "high-level" again) of any of their non-strategic projects right afterwards . Hopefully a half-hour per will work out. It's not necessary for the program managers to be present for other program managers' presentations, although if anyone is interested, please feel free to stay. As a starting point, let's go in alphabetical order.

12:00 pm Project 1
12:30 pm Project 2
1:00 pm Project 3
1:30 pm Project 4
2:00 pm Project 5
2:30 pm Project 6
3:00 pm Project 7
3:30 pm Project 8

I know that some of these time slots may conflict with other meetings you might have. Rather than send around 50 million e-mails, I figured it was easier to put a stake in the ground. I'll first ask that you try to reschedule any meetings you can. However, if you cannot, let the horse-trading begin.

Thanks.

Lesley

P.S. High-level

E-mail 2

A
09/02/2004 02:57 PM

To: Lesley XXX
Subject: Re: The Budget Gauntlet

Leslie, due to the issues we have had this week with some of our major initiatives, plus B being on vacation, I am going to be hard pressed to have all of the DCW's completed by this coming Wednesday, knowing that tomorrow is a half day, & Monday is a Holiday. Please advise if I can get a few days extension.

Thanks!
A

E-mail 3:

Lesley XXX
09/02/2004 03:15 PM

To: A
Subject: Re: The Budget Gauntlet

A,

It's not DCWs that need to be completed by Wednesday. This is a discussion to help the Shared Services managers understand how much of their resources will need to be allocated to each project in 2005. No numbers are to be presented, just an overview of estimated scope. The DCWs are due on Friday, Sept. 10th.

Thanks.

Lesley

E-mail 4:

A
09/02/2004 03:19 PM

To: Lesley XXX
Subject: Fw: The Budget Gauntlet

Lesley, you stated below "I'd like to start with the high-level overview of the strategic projects", does that mean you are not expecting the DCW's that day? Please advise.

Thanks!
A

What I thought: "Which part of the DCWs are due on Friday, Sept. 10th wasn't clear?"

What I said in E-mail 5:

Lesley XXX
09/02/2004 03:21 PM
To: A
Subject: Re: Fw: The Budget Gauntlet

A,

I am not expecting DCWs on Wednesday. By a high-level overview, I meant what you expect to deliver next year, i.e. qualitative information. I expect DCWs on Friday, Sept. 10th.

Thanks.

Lesley

Incidentally, after this e-mail exchange, I sent out a clarification e-mail to the same distribution list. I figured if one person asked, 10 were thinking it.

Tale 3: Are You Dumb Or Just Lazy?

Background: Three or four times a month, I meet with the CIO to have her sign both invoices and approvals for purchases. We call these "signing parties". We use a form called an A/R (Appropration Request) for purchase approvals. The next signing party is on Tuesday, Sept. 7th. Another e-mail trail follows.

E-mail 1:

A
09/02/2004 03:47 PM
To: Lesley XXX
Subject: Re: Date of Next Signing Party - Tuesday, Sept. 7th

I have two hardcopies with B's and my ink on it.... shall I walk them up to you?

Thanks,
A

What I thought: "No, why don't you just give them to the guy behind the ticket booth at the train station and see if he can get them signed for you?"

What I also thought: "You're just lazy and want me to walk down and get them from you."

What I said in E-mail 2:

Lesley XXX
09/02/2004 03:50 PM

To: A
Subject: Re: Date of Next Signing Party - Tuesday, Sept. 7th

A,

Yes.

Lesley

Tune in some time in the future for more True Tales of Work!