Pay-Rod
There is justice in the world. This is what should happen when you sell your soul for money. A-Rod, who prior to signing with Texas, was making noises about wanting to play for a Series contender, may well have stuck himself in the cellar for life due to his greed. A great player, but what does that mean when you play great for a lousy team? But Dan Wetzel puts it even better (presumably why he's paid to write): "Rodriguez will play out his prime in last place, posting Hall of Fame numbers for a Hall of Shame franchise."
Oh yeah.