I'm Dreaming of a Color-Blind Winter Holiday
Michele has issued a challenge to envision a completely politically correct holiday season. My contributions, thus far:
The title of this post.
How the Grinch Redistributed to the Poor the Holiday Season.
New lyrics to the song "Winter Wonderland"
Sleigh bells ring, are you listening,
In the lane, snow is glistening
A beautiful, but this is not to imply that a lane without snow would also not be beautiful, sight,
We're happy tonight.
Traversing through a winter wonderland.Gone away is the non-color-specific-bird,
Here to stay is a new bird
He or she sings a love song,
As we go along,
Traversing through a winter wonderland.In the meadow we can build a snowperson,
Then pretend that he or she is a member of the clergy from the religion of your choice or, if you prefer, a justice of the peace.He or she'll say: Are you married?
We'll say: No person,
Because marriage is a paternalistic construct
Designed to suppress womenLater on, we'll conspire,
As we dream by the fire
To face unafraid,
The plans that we've made,
Traversing through a winter wonderland.In the meadow we can build a snowperson,
And pretend that he or she's a circus clown
We'll have lots of fun with Mr./Ms./Miss/Mrs. Snowperson,
Until the alligators knock him or her down.When it snows, ain't it thrilling,
Though your nose gets a chilling
We'll frolic and play, the Arctic Native American way,
Traversing through a winter wonderland.Traversing through a winter wonderland,
Traversing through a winter wonderland.
If you have any of your own, go leave them.
Comments
That is beautiful. I especially like the line about marriage.
Posted by: michele | November 23, 2003 11:19 AM
Excellent. Excellent excellent excellent! I want you to come on my morning show and sing this bad boy. What are you doing Friday morning? :)
Posted by: Cam | November 25, 2003 10:14 PM
"We're happy tonight"? As an individual with depression, I feel disinclusivized.
Posted by: kps | November 26, 2003 02:59 PM
Wonderful!
But you've callously excluded me:
"Sleigh bells ring, are you listening, "
No. I'm deaf.
"In the lane, snow is glistening"
Blind too (except when reading blogs...strong glasses you see...or, err, not., as the case may be!)
"In the meadow we can build a snowperson"
Also, you know that bit about "traversing?" I'm a quadraplegic, not paraplegic. No building for me.
Also, I write you from beyond the grave, so I, as a formerly animated, sentient being of hominid derivation feel excluded from your celebration of life in general.
Posted by: pk | November 26, 2003 05:23 PM