Plum Crazy

Laurence Simon suggested a little "Let's Pretend" scenario regarding the news story about Senator Frist stopping to aid accident victims in Florida. The game was to rewrite the story as though a different Senator were involved. I thought it would be fun to lampoon one of my two least favorite Senators, New York's own Chuck Schumer.¹

An Isuzu Rodeo with six people aboard was heading west on Alligator Alley when it rolled over 3 to 4 miles west of the toll plaza in Broward County at 3:51 p.m., Broward Fire-Rescue Assistant Chief Todd Leduc said.

All six, including three children, were thrown out as the vehicle rolled. A 10-year-old boy died on the scene; another passenger died later at a hospital.

Authorities working to save lives at the scene were shocked when a man suddenly appeared, trailed by dozens of news cameras, and started lecturing on the dangers of SUVs in a thick New York accent. “It is a known fact that SUVs cause deadly harm to others. Their kill rate, with five lives taken for every one saved, makes them dangerous weapons that should be restricted. I plan to introduce a bill calling for SUV control this session. Highway patrol officers support this concept and consider it a very important life-saving tool.”

At first no one seemed to recognize the man, which appeared to upset him greatly. Once someone pointed out that the only lawmaker who was that much of a publicity hog was New York Senator Chuck Schumer, he calmed down, muttering to himself “I hope the lighting won’t make me look bad on television.”

¹My other least favorite Senator is the carpetbagger herself, but Laurence already took a crack at her.