New Year's Sports Musings from my Brother
My brother sent me an e-mail and promised to buy me a pack of gum if I'd post the following. Hey, what can I say, I'm a gum slut. Although since he made me build all the story links, I'm holding out for two packs.
I became a New England Patriots fan and a New York Jets fan when ex-Giants savior Bill Parcells took the helm of both teams. Alas, as a Giants fan first and last, there is no way that I’m rooting for the Cowboys now that Tuna appears to be riding into Dallas for the rescue.The Knicks have slumped (is that the right word?) to the 9th worst record in the league after languishing with the league’s lowlights earlier this year. They’ve won 3 of 4 and I’m getting an ominous feeling. Not only are they climbing towards respectability with an 11 and 17 record but I sense the playoffs on the horizon. They’re a mere 1 ˝ games out of the last playoff spot in their conference. There goes the good draft pick.
My thoughts: I hate Bill Parcells. Can't he stay retired? As for the Knicks, yeah, the playoff spot they're aiming for is going to help them so much more than a good draft pick. The idiots are going for the wrong goal. There's no way they'll win a championship, so why not go for the good draft pick?
Incidentally, I have a bet with my brother about who will win the NBA championship this year. He says it's the Lakers, showing a misguided faith in Shaq and Kobe Shaq, Kobe, and Phil Jackson to carry the rest of the lousy team. I say no way, and it'll be Sacramento or Dallas. The great thing is I don't even have to be right about it being Sacramento or Dallas, because the bet is only about the Lakers. All the Lakers have to do is continue their abysmal performance, and I get a free dinner. Go me.
Comments
Bill Parcells and the Cowboys deserve each other. May they languish for the rest of their days together in a swirl of controversy and in-fighting.
Feh.
Posted by: michele | January 2, 2003 10:21 PM
Two packs of gum? Whoa, you never said anything about two packs when we negotiated this. Where am I gonna come up with the extra scratch? And it's not just Shaq and Kobe I'm placing my faith in. It's Phil Jackson, too, as much as he's dissed the Knicks in recents years and helped to ruin their championship hopes for several years running.
Posted by: Jon | January 2, 2003 10:25 PM
Piffle. Figure it out, pest. I think the building of the links is worth the extra pack.
Posted by: Lesley | January 2, 2003 10:58 PM
Hmmmm... Where have I heard Lesley call Jon 'pest' before? I just can't seem to remember.
Posted by: Mom | January 2, 2003 11:26 PM
First, let me say, that I feel your pain as a "gum slut." From my own experience, I understand how truly difficult it can be to suffer with the inner torment of obsessions. And I do have a plan that I will submit to Hillary for the next Congressional session to provide aid to people in your situation. But as Mr. S*****'s attorney, I agree that he owes you only one pack of gum. While I respect the amount of effort you undertook on his behalf - and we are grateful - you did not stipulate upfront that you would require two packs of gum as compensation. Nonetheless, in the interests of conciliation, I have advised him to buy you the two packs. Not to mention that my legal fee (an Extra Value Meal at McDonald's plus a 10-pack of Hubba Bubba chewing gum) is actually more costly than the two packs of gum would have been.
Posted by: Bill Clinton | January 3, 2003 09:28 AM
Hubba Bubba, eh? You guys do make me LOL.
Posted by: Mom | January 3, 2003 11:38 AM
Mr. Clinton, you always forget that your email address is not "bill@monica.com", but "bill@monica.org".
Posted by: SS | January 3, 2003 12:09 PM