DJ Jazzy Judge Eakin Is In Da Court!
"A groom must expect matrimonial pandemonium when his spouse finds he's given her a cubic zirconium instead of a diamond in her engagement band, the one he said was worth twenty-one grand."
So reads part of an opinion written by Pennsylvania Supreme Court Justice J. Michael Eakin. Two of his fellow justices, though, felt his style reflected poorly on the court. Personally, I think they're right. Clearly a State Supreme Court opinion should be written in iambic pentameter.
UPDATE: Mayhap the justice should have written his opinion so:
When takes a man a maid to be his wife; And yet a ring does give her that is faux; Can he expecteth anything but strife? Dare he think that he shall not face woe? For women it is known do value jewels; Consider them as proof of men's true love; If given paste, will feel as though they're fools; And vengeance call to rain from up above. For wedded bliss to come, do never lie; But give thy love a ring of proper size; Trusting then that she shall not sit and sigh; Or leave you to your wherefores and your whys. So if you do not wish to face divorce; Give not just ring, but also proof of source.